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Here’s a Christmas one from 10 years ago.

Best wishes to all readers of Jesus & Mo!

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Discussion (24)¬

  1. Someone says:

    This brings me Xmas cheer. Happy holidays!

  2. JMorgan says:

    !0 years on – and still just as pertinent

  3. machigai says:

    Happy Boxing Day!
    I wonder if Irony Meters are on sale?

  4. Dave P. says:

    Very good! Made me chuckle.

  5. Son of Glenner says:

    Laugh-out-loud priceless!

  6. Walter says:

    Irony meters are not strong enough for this stuff. You need an UNobtainium meter to handle religion.

  7. Laripu says:

    I wasn’t yet reading J&M 10 years ago, so this was new to me. I liked it and it’s added a new word to my vocabulary: SPOING. 🙂

  8. Docket says:

    Author: I think there must be a business opportunity for you here…..a fancy box with some sort of circuitry to swing a needle…randomly or according to speech patterns/volume/pitch…. If you can market it as holy you could become a millionaire….again! 😉

  9. Luxi Turna says:

    Sometimes these are ok, sometimes they’re EXCELLENT. This one was EXCELLENT!

    Say, where are all the schizophrenic religious cranks, redneck jesus freaks, and illiterate towelhead sand devils here?

    I want to hear stupid people tell me how their loving, merciful gods and goddesses will set me on fire and burn me alive for billions of years to punish me for not believing they exist with absolutely no evdience. It gives my clit a boner.

  10. jveeds says:

    FYI – Luxi. did you know that clicking on your name-link takes one to PornHub?

  11. jean-françois gauthier says:

    @walter: there this country just south of the border from me where half of the population believes ayn rand and jesus have entirely compatible philosophies. i doubt any irony meter would make it out of the assembly line in kentucky. and my country has been hyperventilating about hijabs and similar medieval contraptions all the way up to the day they decided the crucifix at the assemblée nationale should stay because, you know, tradition and all. (yeah, traditions that goes way back… to the fifties, when we were hyperventilating about those godless communists, just like that “under god” tradition in the u.s.)

    anyhow, a belated happy birthday to our friend jesus and a merry christmas to all.

  12. Chiefy says:

    I’m surprised luxi made it through the spam filter.

  13. Michael says:

    Back when I were a lad we had irony meters that would last for at least ten minutes before spoinging. Plus they didn’t have all that environmental control stuff on them so when they did spoing you could fix them yourself instead of taking them to the repair shop to be unspoinged.

  14. Son of Glenner says:

    Luxi Turna: “where are all the schizophrenic religious cranks, redneck jesus freaks, and illiterate towelhead sand devils?” We do get occasional visitors like that in the old Cock & Bull pub, usually just one at a time. They are usually chewed to pieces by the regulars, but keep coming back for more until Author takes pity on them and puts them out of their misery by blocking them.

    Interesting to hear that you find them erotically stimulating.

  15. M27Holts says:

    “Erect clitoris and Penis” is a good name for a pagan pub I reckon…..

  16. Troubleshooter says:

    You’d think by now that J&M would know better than to muck around with irony meters. They’ve had absolutely NO luck with them at all from the get-go, and judging from the above, the barmaid won’t either so long as they hang out with her!

  17. Some Dude says:

    @M27Holts: Is there such a thing as an “erect clitoris”?? I’m actually curious…

  18. M27Holts says:

    Well in my experience the clitoris, when stimulated , engorges with blood and protrudes from its hood like an engorged red bean…clitoris size varies from woman to woman some women have quite large clits. I think the women I have been with all had similar sized clits…im sure the regulars in the cock and bull will confirm my empirical evidence…

  19. postdoggerel says:

    there once was a girl from st. morris
    who would play around with her thesaurus
    she would seek the best word
    for a heavenly bird
    and would settle
    on one
    the Ptloris

  20. pink squirrel says:

    erect clitoris – so an irony meter has more than one method of use then

  21. postdoggerel says:

    the ptloris is beauteous indeed
    a robust and rebellious breed
    it’s the paradise bird, a presumptuous word,
    but applied here in obvious need.

    a stamen comes on to a pistil
    and the love poets chew on their gristle
    how did this come about
    and how will it turn out,
    I don’t know, it’s so deep
    it’s abyssal

    if it weren’t for you oversexed broads
    dressed in shorts to bring ribald applause
    you be there on the street
    they say sweet sweet sweet
    and you magic hips sway all away

    so the topic tonite was to bore us
    and review pertinent material on the clitoris
    am I relevant to state
    it’s never too late
    to effloresce, all ramiflorous.

  22. M27Holts says:

    The religion of peace has struck again. Stabbing a 50 year old woman and man @ a Manchester station that I have used hundreds of times. The 7th century barbarians are far too close to my home for comfort…

  23. Laripu says:

    And as if in response, a man in Germany drove into a group of Syrians and Afghans, and some were seriously injured. Then he drove off and tried to do it again before being caught.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jan/01/man-drives-car-into-crowd-bottrop-germany

  24. Giàu Vãi ?ái says:

    I table a motion to add SPOING to the dictionary and use it in everyday speech.

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