The wife-of-an-adopted-son story is from Koran 33.37, and Aisha’s observation is from Bukhari 6:60:311.

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Discussion (32)¬

  1. Abhijeet says:

    Not stepdaughter, Author, it was Mo’s daughter in law – his adopted son’s wife.

  2. Abhijeet says:

    First? Yay!

  3. henry ford says:

    Love the newspaper headline 🙂

  4. JustATeensyBitStrident says:

    I’d forgotten this one – nice to see some of the old bite!

  5. Author says:

    Thanks Abhijeet, you are correct.

  6. Steve Sherman says:

    The stepdaughter was Woody Allen. In neither case are they related by blood, so (as uncomfortable as we may be with it) there is no biological reason to object. Nor is Mo alone among religious leaders in finding God’s will convenient to his own desires.

  7. Nassar Ben Houdja says:

    To islam the meaning of piece
    Is of tail woman or beast
    The qur’an, it is writ
    Stick it in if it will fit
    Species matters not in the least.

  8. Markywarky says:

    So where’s the egg then, eh Author? The subscription email promised me an egg, and I want one, now. If not, I can only conclude that you are disrespecting the true meaning of Easter (chocolate), which must be against some sort of right or another I reckon.

  9. hotrats says:

    Even with the hint from Aisha, no-one seems to have explicitly offered the most credible explanation for the founding of Islam; that having stumbled onto a culturally bulletproof tactic to stop people arguing with him, Mo was simply lying through his teeth about having had messages from God.

    If your philosophy and worldview result in a comprehensive set of justifications for killing anyone who disagrees with your opinions and prejudices, or disputes your implausible and self-serving claim to spiritual and worldly authority, and this can be enforced with an army of fervent and unquestioning supporters, then whether or not God actually exists, let alone actually spoke to you, is no longer of any consequence. The outcome is the same, either way; unquestioned power over others, for as long as you can persuade them that God is real.

    That is the main reason why there are dire punishments for atheism and apostasy in Islam; they allow the lie behind the stolen authority to be considered possible.

  10. jveeds says:

    This passage (33:37) , which I’ve read and re-read along with commentaries, seems to be one of the most convoluted in the Qur’an. As Abhijeet says, Zainab is the daughter-in-law, that is, the wife of one’s son. However, Zaid is actually Mo’s adopted son and he and Zainab have been formally divorced, with the requisite waiting period observed. So Mo is actually given permission by Allah to marry his “adoptive former daughter-in-law.”

    Considering that the Arabs are the masters of convoluted family relationships, I bet there’s a term for that in Arab society of that era.

    Either way…how conveeeenient!

  11. akiva says:

    The sira (biography of Muhammed) relates that Zaid divorced Zainab BECAUSE he knew Muhammed was interested in her.

  12. Matt says:

    “God instructs me to do whatever I fancy doing.” The only surprise is how many people fall for this obvious bollocks. The only consolation is that a lot of “Muslims” really do not and are just waiting to be intellectually liberated.

  13. Michael says:

    Joseph Smith, the inventor of Mormonism, had a similar revelation from “Heavenly Father”. Mohammad had only 13 wives or concubines. Joe had about 27 wives (the number is in dispute) but he was a slacker compared to his successor, Brigham Young. That guy had 55 wives, some aged 15 or 16 and some married to someone else when Brigham decided he wanted a new bed warmer.

  14. Chiefy says:

    Behold, there is truth in the Koran. You just have to know where to look. Good one, Author.

  15. Someone says:

    The will of God(s) to justify a man’s lusts, desires and ambitions seem to be one of the few things all religions have in common.
    That and being complete horseshit.

  16. Finally a place to express polite disgust

  17. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Of course, there are plenty of Christian con artists pulling Mo’s tricks today.
    “God has told me that he wants you to give (to me) until it hurts”, etc and so on.

  18. two cents' worth says:

    As one of my brothers used to say when performing his satirical impression of an evangelical Christian preacher, “Remember friends, the cross is a plus sign!”

  19. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    He was missing a trick, two cents’ worth. Turn it 45 degrees and it’s multiplication. Ka-ching!

  20. dr John de Wipper says:

    2ct & AoS:
    The Dutch word for groin is the same word as that for cross.
    My father used to say, “Xtianity is centered at the cross, but often it is all too clear WHICH cross”.

  21. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Ooh, imagine being nailed through the cross to the cross. That’s a bad day right there.

  22. Someone says:

    It would certainly give a new definition to circumcision.

  23. Some Dude says:

    I once saw a very funny related cartoon on the topic:

    It goes like this:

    -Mo: I am the Messenger of God!
    +Some guy: And what is the message of God?
    -Mo: To obey the Messenger of God!!

  24. Some Dude says:

    “God wants you to shut up right now”. I guess that’s one of Mo’s favourite revelations.

  25. two cents' worth says:

    Some Dude–or, as the Jesuits used to say to my dad, “Don’t think like that!”

  26. DC Toronto says:

    Reminds me of the game Simon Says. Simon says ‘shut up now’ …. Simon says you go to heaven …. Simon says kill the infidels …. Simon says I should marry my daughter-in-law …. it would be really embarrassing for them if they ever found out Simon didn’t say all those things

  27. Anonymous says:

    @two cents’ worth: “Don’t think like that” is one of the funniest religious comments I’ve heard so far hahaha. It’s a bit like saying “Your freaking questions are just annoying!”.

    @DC Toronto: Is it possible that some of them have already realised Simon didn’t say any of those things and now they’re way too embarrassed to admit it?? (Aside from the fact that in many places they can face death for apostasy and/or rejection from their own family, of course)

  28. Some Dude says:

    @two cents’ worth: “Don’t think like that!” is one of the funniest religious comments I’ve heard so far. It’s a bit like saying “Your freaking questions are just annoying!” hahaha.

    @DC Toronto: Is it possible that some of them have already realised Simon didn’t say any of those things and now they’re way too embarrassed to admit it?? (Aside from the fact, of course, that in many places they can face death for apostasy and/or rejection from their own families)

  29. Some Dude says:

    Sorry, apparently I sent the last comment twice. Is there any way of deleting them?

  30. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    As this thread appears to have ground to a standstill I thought I might recount a tale from the weekend.
    Walking through a field with the terriorist and my two grandsons we came upon an area where the wind had blown a lot of blossom from the trees, leaving the grass coated in tiny white and golden yellow petals. Immediately, the younger boy, who just turned 5, said “I know what that is, Grandad,, it’s Tinker Bell poo”.
    You can’t argue with logic like that!

  31. machigai says:

    would make a dandy t-shirt

  32. Bones'sDog says:

    would make a dandy t-shirt

    It would be particularly fun to wear it proudly to church and to sit in the first row, right in line with the gaze from the pulpit.

    I doubt the wearer would be welcomed back, though he may be taken out back.


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