Jesus never admits to his emissions.

Discussion (12)¬

  1. Tim Bailey says:

    The following text comes from Clement of Alexandria, Stromateis 3.59.3.:

    “He was continent, enduring all things. Jesus digested divinity; he ate and drank in a special way, without excreting his solids. He had such a great capacity for continence that the nourishment within him was not corrupted, for he did not experience corruption.”

    attributed to Valentinus: Jesus’ Digestive System: Epistle to Agathapous, writtern before 216 CE.

    JC has come a long way… now free to let ’em rip… 😉

  2. John Cowan says:

    As Schaff-Herzog (via Wikipedia) points out, this is Docetism or awfully close to it (the belief that Christ’s human body was an illusion), and was part of the reason why the Church pulled the plug on Clement’s sainthood in the 17th century.

    I’m no theologian, but it looks to me like it’s prima facie heresy to deny that Jesus farted. Back in the day, I used to charge fundamentalists with Arianism for remarks like this, but perhaps Docetism would have been more accurate.

  3. eenauk says:

    i guess mo did it then.

  4. TB says:

    Jesus didn’t fart?

    That stuff was jokingly said when a stunningly beautiful woman is encountered here.

    “omg she doesn’t take a dump, I dont believe this shit.”

  5. Hobbes says:

    So, there’s no such thing as “holy shit?”

  6. JohnnieCanuck says:

    It appears that Jesus’ holy shit is/was a matter of some controversy. I wonder if anyone got killed because of it. Current church ‘wisdom’ appears to be that there was indeed such a thing.

    This perfection thing carried over into many areas. There were big problems for the people who first observed sunspots, for example. Dogma at the time held that the sun was part of the Heavens and could not be less than perfect. Likewise that the moon had mountains instead of being smooth.

  7. Trev says:

    Ah… a common musing in any religious discussion: “I wonder if anyone got killed because of it.”

  8. Sondra says:

    This is the funniest comic I have ever seen in my life!! Thank you so much for posting your wildly creative comics.

  9. nullrend says:

    The comments on this post are pure internets gold

  10. Sondra says:

    Almost 4 years later and it still cracks me up.

  11. fenchurch says:

    @eenauk: “Unto he who hath smelt it, verily dealt it.”

  12. Cephas Atheos says:

    Or my dad’s favourite : “A rat can’t smell it’s own hole.”

    Of course, we were never allowed to use that against him…


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