Thanks to this week’s guest scriptwriter, The Archbishop of Canterbury.

Yesterday was this comic’s 10th birthday, and to celebrate we’re running a little competition (thanks to sparky_shark for the suggestion).

To enter, you just have to write a script for the last panel of a J&M “X-factor” strip:

X-factor competition strip

The script should a line from Jesus, a line from Mo (in any order), plus the off-screen judge if required. Just words, presented like this:
Jesus: Blah
Mo: Blah
Judge: Blah

The best script will win a book of the latest collection of Jesus & Mo strips (Vol 7), plus publication here on the website (anonymously, obvs). There may be runners-up prizes, too.

Send entries entitled “X-factor script” to author[AT]

Discussion (39)¬

  1. white+squirrel says:

    [God] adds some platitude about sharing our suffering [equally, so that all mortal life suffers]

    [and of course ‘god’ being imaginary has imaginary suffering]

    ps is the final panel saying that the barmaid is ‘god’

  2. Omar Farooq says:

    Jesus- “We are going to sing a song by John Lennon called Imagine”.

    Jessus & Mo- “Imagine there’s no heaven
    It’s easy if you try
    No hell below us
    Above us only sky
    Nothing to kill or die for
    And no religion too”

    Judge – “Sound of a gun being fired” !!

  3. Nassar+Ben+Houdja says:

    One must allow for a bit of latitude
    When rationalizing using some platitude
    Is freedom of will
    To be considered swill?
    Reality is a matter of attitude.

  4. Bet Harvey says:

    Jesus and Mo (singing together) ~ “He’s got the whole world…in His hands…”

  5. E.A.+Blair says:

    This is the first time I can recall seeing a capitalized strip title.

  6. pies McQ says:

    Jesus: Please allow me to introduce myself….
    Mo: He’s a man of wealth and taste….

    Judge: for god’s sake we’ve already had Bono on

  7. Grumpy says:

    Jesus: We’re going to sing a song.
    Mo: About our religions of peace.
    Judge: NEXT !

  8. oldebabe says:

    The `script’ answer by M & J is good as it is, i.e. blank.

  9. Nice ideas folks, but wouldn’t it be better if you followed instructions and emailed your entries?
    Author: “God is ineffable but predictable” is one of your best yet. There certainly is a predictability to the comments by believers following any triumph or tragedy.

  10. wrinkel42 says:

    A Very happy birthday and Thank You.

  11. I don’t know Darwin, I like reading the scripts in the comments. And I agree with oldebabe : “Nothing” is the right answer !

  12. white+squirrel says:

    ‘God is ineffable but predictable’
    Cant be the ‘god’ of the bible or quran then – cos both of those are extremely capricious and unpredictable

  13. trou says:

    Jesus: We’d like to sing a song by one of my father’s favorite Jewish songwriters.
    Mo: We’ll be singing “The sounds of silence” by Simon and Garfunkel.
    Judge: I must admit the sound of silence from you two sounds divine.

  14. iain666 says:

    I kind of like it without anything in the last frame…

    “What are you going to do for us tonight Jesus and Mo?”


  15. wholly+humanl says:

    Grumpy wins. Tres simple n’est-ce pas?

  16. white+squirrel says:

    A question for Mr Whelby – ‘god’ keeps bottles of human bodily fluids in heaven ?
    how? where? why? where are they made?

  17. Pussycat says:

    God was in the middle of it was he? Was he one of those who shot people or one of those that blew themselves up?

  18. Walter says:

    The first time I tried to access this one, I was refused because of “illegal argument”.

    You know why Kligon subroutines don’t have parameters?

    They have arguments and have to win them.

  19. Jerry+www says:

    Jesus: Little
    Mo: Nothing
    Judge: So then, the usual?

  20. Okay, you are right. It’s more fun to read everybody’s ideas. I emailed mine in but here’s a slightly modified version.

    Mo: Here’s a song about Islam’s respect for women.
    Jesus: Testing. Testing. Can you ladies at the back hear us okay?

  21. HaggisForBrains says:

    DH – πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  22. white+squirrel says:

    DH -that would be moderate islam – under extreme islam there would be no women present as they would be outside the home unescorted by a male relatve

  23. Willy K. says:

    Jesus: ………what??
    Mo:Do for you? I don’t understand the question??

  24. machigai says:

    Whatever else is going on here:
    Nassar’s usual contribution is a triumph.
    many many thumbs up

  25. Mine (which I also emailed) was :
    J : Do ? Nothing ! But we’ll bore you with repetitious mumbles, backward ideology and childish fables about an invisible man who got half the world fight against the other half in his name…
    M : And a-one…

  26. white+squirrel says:

    A lot of people hear a voice speak in their head occasionally, But most have sufficient intellect to understand that the words come from within their own mind
    How then does someone who is too dimwitted to realise this get to be an archbishop

  27. Isn’t “being dimwitted” one of the requirements then ? πŸ™‚

  28. white+squirrel says:

    I always imagined that higher office took intellect, but I guess the current GOP candidates prove that wrong

  29. white+squirrel says:

    correction =
    GOP candidates and the Australian TERF strulbrug prove that wrong

  30. EricF says:

    “β€˜god’ keeps bottles of human bodily fluids in heaven ?”

    Indeed, it follows that ‘god’ also collects the urine of those who have contracted urinary tract infections, so that “none of our sufferings are lost”.

  31. white+squirrel says:

    We knew that ‘god’ took that fluid already

  32. Dan says:

    Why does the Archbishop doubt God when the killings are in Paris but not when similar numbers and more are killed all over the world all the time?

    Does he doubt God every day? If so, is he in the right job?

  33. JoJo says:

    @EricF @White Squirrell –


  34. white+squirrel says:

    ‘Archbishop’ is a job ? since when was public display of medieval fantasies ‘work’

  35. white+squirrel says:

    ‘God’ is a commie conspirator seeking to undermine America?
    Explains a lot Jojo

  36. Sisal79 says:

    Jesus: I am going to be the founder of the one true religion.
    Mo: And so am I.

  37. Sheila says:

    Jesus: Today we’re going to demonstrate how just and fair we are by proclaiming that everyone who disbelieves in us deserves to burn in a fiery hell.
    Mo: For all of eternity.
    Judge: Fair enough. Proceed.

  38. Pytorb says:

    Mo: The same thing we do every night.

    Jesus: Try to take over the world!

  39. Anonymous says:

    white+squirrel says:
    November 30, 2015 at 3:59 pm
    β€˜Archbishop’ is a job ? since when was public display of medieval fantasies β€˜work’
    Actually it’s a *very* hard job. You really have to strain your credulity.
    Of course, I explain such cases as Stockholm Syndrome, remember as small children they have no defense and sufficient fire and brimstone descriptions may produce a captive state of mind. Sad, but remember we are all captive to the laws of physics.


NOTE: This comments section is provided as a friendly place for readers of J&M to talk, to exchange jokes and ideas, to engage in profound philosophical discussion, and to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions. As such, comments of a racist, sexist or homophobic nature will not be tolerated.

If you are posting for the first time, or you change your username and/or email, your comment will be held in moderation until approval. When your first comment is approved, subsequent comments will be published automatically.