J&M’s entry for the Templeton Prize.

I can haz millian pounz now?

(Did I do that right?)

Discussion (31)¬

  1. Yasha says:

    Quite. Author, you just made Newton’s ghost very angry.

  2. Dave N says:

    Nice one, author! If you recite that in a drawn out old man’s Shakespearian voice, it works even better.

  3. ronmurp says:

    How fitting for the quote from Karl Giberson (above right) which links to this shite; sorry, site:

  4. ROLFE says:

    Well, it made me laugh.

  5. archbish says:

    Made me laugh out loud. Thanks author

  6. Intelligent Designer says:


    Having listened to a program about George Formby last night, I’ve now got J & M singing a duet in broad Lancastrian whilst getting a banjo-uke sound out of the acoustic guitar.

    I think it adds, rather than takes away πŸ˜‰

  7. Tim McGregor says:

    How long have J&M been blinking? I thought I was going mad at first.

  8. Now you’ve got me trying to work out the melody. I think we need a few more verses.

  9. Unruly Simian says:

    @ Tim – Author has done this a few times and like you the first time I saw it I began questioning my sanity. Not that this proves me sane, mind you…..

  10. kev_s says:

    Haha! You deserve a million Author!

  11. Brilliant!

    You should see what Paula Kirby said about this one on Facebook.

    Ok I’ll tell you. She said “I do not have the words to describe how brilliant this is!”

  12. the beagle says:

    Tim, perhaps if one stares long enough and hard enough J&M might shed tears – anyone got the pope’s number?

  13. Joel says:

    “Rectal provenance” = best lyric EVAH.

  14. David B says:

    I am so going to steal ‘rectal provenance’

    David B

  15. James says:

    This is wonderful; succinct and brutally honest. The “hypotheses of rectal providence” line had me laughing out loud! πŸ™‚

  16. Stephen Turner says:

    Hahaha. For some reason I have the feeling this isn’t going to win.

    With some more verses, maybe J&M could make it big in the Hit Parade.

  17. Dan says:

    Magnificent. Eurovision anyone?

  18. Neuseline says:

    It scanned very well with the tune I just composed in my head. A truly scatalogical ditty.

  19. Ketil W.Grevstad says:

    i like the song and the blinking eyes.

    hehe maybe this is a new song to the Eurovisjon πŸ™‚

  20. MrGronk says:

    @Yasha: sad but true; Newton expended most of his unequalled intellect on theology.

  21. Nassar Ben Houdja says:

    Making noise akin to a goat
    Or a frog exhaling a bloat
    The proselytizing atheist
    Or inflated physical scientist
    Sound like a “Johnny one note”.

  22. Mansur al-Japan says:

    I know asking this is totally uncool, but where does “rectal provenance” come from? Has it something to do with prostate cancer check?

  23. Gab says:

    @ Mansur al-Japan: I think ‘rectal provenance’ is just a proof of J&M’s poetic talent, so that the word ‘common sense’ can rhyme with ‘utter bullshit’.

  24. Joe Fogey says:

    Works well to a slightly adapted “My old man’s a dustman” with an extra final couplet, sung slowly to emphasize the true beauty of the words.

  25. PhilJo says:

    @Mansur “Hypotheses of rectal provenance” could be translated to “Theories I pulled out of my ass”.

  26. jerry w says:

    In panel 3, did Mo intend to say “And still believe in -all of this- Shite”?

  27. beechnut says:

    Spot on, and very funny. Well done, Author.

  28. Philip says:

    If you repeat the last line of each panel, it fits nicely to the tune of the Gilligans Island theme song. I particularly like the repetition of the “rectal provenance” line this requires.

  29. kiyaroru says:

    There must be enough material for an album now.

  30. Don says:

    The blinking is freaking me out.

  31. Aj says:

    Sadly, I doubt the boys are ever likely to win a Templeton.

    Now, if the Barmaid can bring herself to declare that their arguments are really quite reasonable and interesting (and maybe calls Richard Dawkins a poopie-head for good measure) then she’ll be a shoe-in.


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