Thanks to Ray Comfort for co-writing this one back in 2006.
Brilliant as always. Not to mention that the banana is a human invention. The original was inedible, and remained that way until it was crossbred to produce a sterile offspring that only reproduces by cuttings. Far from an atheist’s nightmare. Now the hard boiled egg on the other hand…
[...] post is again inspired by Jesus & Mo. In this strip, Jesus is blathering on about how the banana is so perfectly suited (read [...]
… or the pineapple?
DEATH!!! BY MAU-MAU!!!!
There’s a funny YouTube video about two religious wackos (sorry for the redundant phrase) where one, a former US child actor, Kirk Cameron, if I recall, looks on while a pastor holds the banana in a way that could be seen as erotic.
It’s also funny that bananas are the selected fruit of ‘perfection’, with the inedible smelly skin and swift-overripening. That’s what you get for engineering it yourself, humans!
Grapes are much better, they’re bite-sized and you don’t have to peel them unless you’re a harem girl. (And also engineered, of course.)
Some atheist made an appeal
A self proclaimed logical squeal
Like a coconut unwrapped by chimp
The result unsatisfactorily limp
Common ancestry they do reveal.
Looks like Nassar learned the art of poetry from ancient religious texts, from before scansion, not-uncomfortable-phrasing or making sense were considered appropriate.
Why would a coconut be limp if a chimp unwrapped it? They’re certainly not limp when I do, what magical power over coconuts is that chimp using?
But Jesus, of you’re using the tab to open the banana, you’re doin’ it wrong! Time to evolve, man!
He is right about coconuts.
How about Durian (google it) ? I think even the almighty jesus never know this exquisite (either heavenly or satanic depend on your palate) fruit ..
I do believe that xian’s (and islam’s of course) gods are outdated. One day in the past this kind of god(s) are sufficient to the laymen. Not anymore. Definitely. Banana? Huh!
Ah, the perfect environment he created for us. That’s why 97% of the water is undrinkable, and most of the other 3% frozen, and so much of the planet is too high/?cold/?hot/?steep/?Welsh/?dry/?wet/?Conservative to be inhabited by civilised beings.
Umm. Don’t ask me where all the question-marks came from. I have no idea.
NBH, you do realise that poetry meeds to have more than just lines ending in rhymes to work, don’t you?
@Daz – did you paste from Word?
@ Nassar Ben Houdja “Common ancestry they do reveal”?? So are you ready to agree that we have a common ancestor with apes? Is that what your doggerel meant this time? If so, you are correct. Glad you finally see the light.
Ah yes, the banana. The inside is tasty and good for you, what with all that potassium and fructose. And the skin? A perfect natural material that seems to be made for thousands of comedic situations on film and (I suppose) in real life.
Didn’t Comfort retract that little farce when confronted with the evidence that humans evolved the banana to its current form?
I thought it meant common ancestry with the coconut.
@Admin, Ah, no. I pasted from an old blog post of mine, and I seem to recall I’d put zero-width spaces after each slash, so’s it would justify decently. That’ll be what caused it, I ‘spect.
Beetroot is satanic too. Why? Because I don’t like it. Ergo god doesn’t exist…or Satan? Oh I’m confused now….
@Maria Myrback: Comfort didn’t exactly retract it. He was just laughed at so much that he backtracked…then backtracked some more…and now he claims it was always intended to be satire.
I’ve had home made Durian ice cream – the taste was pleasant – sort of a strong gamey cantalope – made milder by the other ingredients – but even reduced, I had to hold my nose to eat it.
sort of like how you have to hold your nose and squeeze your brain to listen to the Ray COmforts of the world
@random ntrygg. I don’t know. I think Ray Comfort is the most entertaining loony fundamentalist I have heard for years. I could watch the banana sketch over and over. In fact, I think Jesus and Mo should remind us of it at least once every year – as a Christmas present.
I don’t know what it is about Australians. We are not a very religious people, but the fundamentalists we do have, make even the most wacko Americans look sane! Although we have a long way to go before we have evangelists with such entertaining facial hair as the American who made world news recently for suggesting he was going to hold a Koran burning ceremony.
@Mary2 -You are too modest. What about your own dear Ken Ham?
He has the kind of beard-without-moustache affair that helps him look like a troll. And he is hilarious.
Oh, I forgot–Sam Harris on nightline here
Will interest some JanMers and make others blow a gasket.
happy new year to jesus and mo
That bananas fit right in the hand,
Shows that God is at work in the land,
But I’m going to hell,
Cos my cock fits as well,
I love sowing my seed in the sand.
What’s even more precious about the banana-that-God-designed-especially-for-human-convenience is that it is not the natural state of a banana; like apples, is essentially man-made and the ones we eat cannot even grow or reproduce. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana#History for more.
Anyway, I always have to wash my hands after eating a banana, so despite their perfect wrapper, your hands still get sticky. Some design.
I don’t get then, with the perfection by intelligent design of anal sex, why so many religious folks get het up about it:
- the human wang is perfectly designed to slip into the backdoor
- women recipients get to avoid unwanted abortions from this action
- clitoral orgasms are better & more accessible unlike the boring front door coitus where you can’t fit your hand in there very well
- pretty much everyone has an asshole
- lotsa nerve endings (do you think we only shit because it feels good?)
Fenchurch, I’ve long thought that the anus is proof that if God did make us, he was a Civil engineer. Who else would place a sewage outlet right next door to a leisure centre?
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