It’s a Friday Resurrection! What about those sophisticated theologians, eh? Who needs them? Am I right?

Discussion (51)¬

  1. Alastair says:

    An eternal truth resurrected from September 17th, 2009? Anyway, I like the bolder line style better – more assertive. The old style J looked a bit tentative.

  2. Smiting. Gotta love that smiting. Can I be a smiter, or do I have to be a smitee… er, smitten. Thanks for this one, Author.

  3. HaggisForBrains says:

    I guess I’m smitten by Jesus & Mo.

  4. Myrhinne says:

    Author, you are, as usual, right.

    I did religious studies A-level hoping that it would reinforce my beliefs and help solve my doubts. Actually it reinforced my skepticism. At the same time I was studying Classics and I could see that the logic and reasoning theologians used when studying the gospels would be considered poor scholarship at any level of high school. As for the philosophy; I spent ages wondering if the ontological argument was incredibly profound or just downright silly. I reluctantly had to conclude it was the latter.

  5. J Ascher says:

    Nothing inspires confidence like saying trust us, we know what we’re doing!

  6. RegV says:

    @Nelson Jones said “J & Mo is the funniest and most consistently thought-provoking cartoon strip on the Net. In a saner world, it would run in a major newspaper. ”
    I agree. Does the day job give you similar scope for creativity?

  7. Author says:

    @RegV – Thanks. I’m an author by trade as well as nickname, but with much less scope for jokes and blasphemy by day.

  8. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Author, I’ve often wondered about your avatar, were Morcombe and Wise really Muslims?

  9. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Author, I’ve often wondered about your avatar, were Morcambe and Wise really Muslims?

  10. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Wow, my comment not only repeated itself, it self-corrected my spelling of Morcambe to boot. Clever thing, this interweb.

  11. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    “And when this ‘Blitzkrieg’ is over?”
    Mmm. If we keep the Blitzkrieg going for long enough for the barmy fuckers to forget where they left him……

  12. Somebody sent me this. Thought I’d share it.
    An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
    He said, “What are you doing father?”
    “It’s called masturbating, my son” the priest replied, “You’ll be doing this soon.”
    “Why’s that father ?” he asked.
    “Because my wrist is killing me” the priest replied.

    We’re pullin’ for ya, Father.

  13. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Thanks for sharing, DH. It reminded me of this;
    Choirboy goes to the priest and asks for Sunday off as there’s an important football match he doesn’t want to miss.
    “OK”, says the priest “but I want a blowjob in return”.
    “Father, I’m not doing that” says the boy.
    “No football match then” says the priest.
    “OK”, says the boy “let’s get it done then”.
    He drops to his knees and takes hold of the priests cock, but as soon as it’s in his mouth he pulls his head back and spits on the floor in disgust.
    “What’s the matter, boy?” says the priest.
    “It tastes of shit!” spits the lad.
    “Well of course it does”, the priest smiles. “You’re not the only boy wanting to go to the match”.

  14. Nassar Ben Houdja says:

    An atheist propositioned the bar maid
    About the prospects of getting laid
    But the short peckered fool
    Had too limp a tool
    And couldn’t get it up though he prayed.

  15. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Nassar, you need to get to bed earlier; late nights are doing nothing for your poetry, old son.

  16. AofS, okay. Mine was bad but yours was…I can’t call it tasteless but yuck.

  17. Author, I do apologize. These jokes have nothing to do with this strip, which should be inspiring a more elevated level of humour. Give me a mo while I look up the meaning of “ontological”, and I’ll see if I can think of something appropriate to say.

  18. HaggisForBrains says:

    @ DH – Ontological is meaningless, but I’m sure you knew that. And what are you going to do with Mo if Author gives you him?

  19. HaggisForBrains says:

    PS DH – I genuinely laughed out loud at the priest’s reply. Don’t worry, the coffee will wash off the screen.

  20. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Ouch! Did I go too far?
    OK, back to the strip; anybody who thinks that an omnipotent god can be hidden behind words really cannot believe in that god, methinks. Does that make s’fistikated theologians atheists by proxy?

  21. machigai says:


  22. Stuart H says:

    Conversation with my 60-year old mum:

    Me: I wonder what Jesus and Mo are up to this week!
    Mum: Oh yes! You know, I think about them a lot now, it’s almost as if they’re real people!

    Wonderful irony.

  23. Jobrag says:

    I haven’t listened to this yet, but it might be of intersest, spooky that the BBC could anticipate J and M.


  24. HaggisForBrains says:

    Hey DH, what happened to your avatar. I just noticed today, but on checking see that it disappeared at the beginning of the month.

  25. jerry w says:

    Did it “evolve”?
    Just asking…..

  26. WalterWalcarpit says:

    I don’t think that’s Morcambe & Wise, AofS, it’s Thompson and Thomson in one of their many disguises.

    Great strip, detectives! I love sidekick Mo’s dumbed-down supporting role.
    ‘Ha ha! Suckers!’ Just about sums up fundamentalism. Ineffable indeed!

  27. @HaggisforBrains I don’t know what happened to my avatar. Gravatar is not user friendly. For example, once you choose a user name, you can’t change it. My avatar was somehow associated with my non-anonymous name so I had to remove it because ever time I commented under my non-anonymous name, the avatar would show up. I thought I had solved the problem by opening a new account just for Darwin Harmless, but… well, things went south after that. Thanks for asking.

    Happy blasphemy day, everybody. Curse a non-existing entity of your choice, but do it loudly and publicly. Laws against blasphemy are totally retarded. My choice for today is Thor. He’s a total dickhead, what with that stupid hammer and all. I mean, get with the twenty-first century, dude. Go steal yourself an AK47 or something. I hear there are a few available in Pakistan.

  28. darwinharm says:

    Testing to see if my avatar will show up.

  29. Sob. I want my avatar. I liked it.

  30. This is getting bad. Now one of my comments has disappeared and the rest of them are awaiting moderation. Yikes. What have I done?

  31. Author says:

    @DH – If you change your handle, email, or IP, the software thinks you are new, so you automatically go into moderation. Don’t know what happened to your avatar, I’m afraid.

  32. HaggisForBrains says:

    I blame Thor. Fuck you, Thor!

    At least I can truthfully tick the box today.

  33. FreeFox says:

    @Walter: Thompson and Thomson are of the same height and built, not a short fat and a tall thin one. Only their mustaches differ slightly at the edges (plus the p). Their disguises also are never that good. Can’t be them. ^_^
    @Author: Dunno about the IP, I’m pretty certain I’ve been using very different IPs and it always worked… but name, email (and maybe the website URL) need to stay the same.
    @DH/AoS: Oh come on, blaspheming against Thor is boring since about the 12th century. Who are you offending except a few Marvel comic fans? If you do it, do it properly: Mohammed was an illiterate child abusing nutter who smelled of camel dung, Jesus was an unwashed hippie self-important queer hippie (if he existed at all which is highly doubtful), Yahwe is a mass-murdering psychopath, Allah a misgynistic bastard, most muslims are whiney, insecure touch-me-not mamma’s boys, Catholic priests are a bunch of sadistic homophobic boy fuckers, and protestants are killjoys driven by the paranoid fear that somewhere someone might be having fun. (Trying to find something bad to say about Sikhs or Babaji, but I have to admit, overall their worst sin seems to be fussy dullness…) There.

  34. FreeFox says:

    Hmm. Or how about: Richard Dawkins is a fussy old maid who loves to hear himself talk way too much, Hitchens was a cranky old sot who thrived on feeling superiour, Dennet is a pompous ass, and Sam Harris’s made up scientific ethics are a laughable attempt at semantic mumbo-jumbo. 😀

  35. Stonyground says:

    Both Gerry Coyne and Mano Singham are discussing the Ontological Argument due to it having recently been discussed on Radio 4. On GC’s blog I mentioned a J&M cartoon where J&M hit the barmaid with the Ontological Argument and then ordered two more pints. The barmaid then challenged them to define two pints into existence. Someone replyed that GC had already cited this but the link took me to a different one on the same subject.

    As for the Ontological Argument itself, it is pretty silly to think that you can generate knowledge out of nowhere, without any data whatsoever. It is also a circular argument and begs the question. Even if it were not flawed, the argument could not prove the existence of a specific god, those who use it simply assume that it is the god of their particular religion that they are proving the existence of.

  36. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    FreeFox, my love, I think you meant to put ‘DH/HfB’ in your first comment. I did tell the pre-historic ‘Thor but thatisfied’ joke here many moons ago but I have never been blasphemous about the mighty Thor (although I do have a very thor back today owing to my little monkey of a grandson climbing all over me yesterday 🙁 )
    HfB, sorry mate, I just grassed you up there 🙂

    I’m pink therefore I’m Spam.

  37. Chris Zian says:

    Maybe the Author was good in making funny cartoons but do you think its an appropriate idea to used Jesus as one of the character? I mean we do have our freedom to express our opinion but we should remember that this freedom is absolute.

    May you guys receive Jesus Love.. http://www.jimmyscarff.com/

  38. darwin says:

    Thanks, Author. I notice that there are a few other regulars who seem to be missing their avatars. I’m going to blame it on FreeFox, just ’cause I can. Speaking of whom, FreeFox I think you underestimate the number of Marvel Comics fans who will be terribly offended by my comments about Thor. Of course everything you said about the usual suspects is spot on the money. It just seemed too obvious to me.
    By the way, the Sikhs in Vancouver were killing each other over an issue which apparently was of critical importance to them – whether or not to allow chairs in their temple. Killing each other they were. Over that. And you can’t find anything bad to say about them? The mother in another multi-millionaire Sikh family, this one in Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada sent her daughter, a beautiful girl, to India to marry a man she had never met, then ordered the rape and murder of her own daughter because the girl had the audacity to fall in love and marry a man the family did not approve of. The Sikh men and boys all carry knives as part of their religion, insisting they must do this even to schools and liquor stores, and they wear stupid turbans and beards. So fuck the Sikhs too.

  39. @Chris Zian Fuck you and the horse your rode in on. Oops. Sorry. Sorry. That was inappropriate. Allow me to rephrase that. Yes, having Jesus as one of the characters is entirely appropriate. That is, after all, the whole point. What would Jesus and Mo be without Jesus. That would be like… like… steak and kidney pie without the steak. As for the love of your invisible imaginary zombie, he’s not my type thank you very much.

  40. hotrats says:

    @Chris Zian:
    # I mean we do have our freedom to express our opinion but we should remember that this freedom is absolute. #

    Thanks for reminding us, but in questioning the use of Jesus in a cartoon, it seems that you are the one who has forgotten what ‘absolute’ means. This all pales into insignificant quibbling beside a quote from your site about your experiences as a Scrabble champion:

    # I like to bring Jesus to tournaments when I play them nowadays. I find that you can have extraordinary runs of good and bad luck, so if I pray a simple prayer over the bag I can take away all of the negative spiritual forces. It seems to work after a while because Satan can’t resist God forever. #

    I hardly know where to start here, but…
    your run of ‘bad luck’ ends not because ‘after a while’ the odds will even out, but because of the surprising irresolution and weakness of the Prince of Darkness. So how come this hopeless loser still exists after all this time, if he eventually gives up and God doesn’t? No, please don’t answer. As Dr. Gregory House once remarked, if you could reason with religious people, there wouldn’t be any religious people.

  41. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Aww, c’mon Hotrats, surely you can believe that Satan has nothing better to do than hang about at Scrabble contests. The only fun he gets nowdays is making players use rude words in tournaments, or trying to inflict dyslexia on the reigning champ.
    Yet Jesus won’t even allow him this simple pleasure. Fucking puritanical killjoy.
    And no, Satan didn’t make me type that naughty word; ’twas all my own work.

    Actually, I think Chris Zian (very clever ‘nym; I’ll bet it took weeks to think of that) meant to write that the freedom is NOT absolute, only Satan deleted the ‘not’ just as he hit the ‘Submit’ button. The Father of Lies will stop at nothing in his quest for World domination; I hear he’s on Countdown next week….

  42. “As Dr. Gregory House once remarked, if you could reason with religious people, there wouldn’t be any religious people.” @hotrats I am SO stealing that. Thanks.

  43. MarkyWarky says:

    I think Chris Zion’s web site is well worth a read. It’s incredibly childlike in language and content, and very black and white in it’s conclusions, even when not talking about Geezus (read the Apple Computers section). There’s very little critical thinking gone into it, that’s for sure!

    I don’t suggest for a minute that all Christians are as naive as he appears to be (well, maybe for one minute), but his site does give you an idea of one type of person who can believe this rubbish.

  44. MarkyWarky says:

    “Chris Zian”, not “Chris Zion”, sorry. So many implications to that little typo!

  45. Dan says:

    @Chris Zian,
    I assume there’s a typo there and you meant:

    I mean we do have our freedom to express our opinion but we should remember that this freedom is *not* absolute.

    Adding “not” seems to go with the direction of your point.

    I don’t believe it’s wise to make freedom of expression absolute. However we should be very circumspect in curtailing it. It’s certainly OK to ridicule people’s ideas and beliefs no matter how passionately/deeply/sincerely they hold them.
    As has been shown time and again on this site it’s impossible to repeat most religious opinion without ridiculing them because religious beliefs are so often innately ridiculous.
    We should aim only to restrict free speech where it has a strong tendency to incite acts of substantial violence or total civil disorder except in the face of extreme provocation (I would say as indicated in UDHR) . That specifically excludes restricting it simply because people will be offended, upset or react violently but where the speech incites that violence (as not the same as provoking it).
    Nothing I’ve seen or imagine I’ll ever see on J&M incites violence, so it’s all good.
    J&M is pretty mild if you ask me.

  46. hotrats says:

    Already stolen goods, so do help yourself; I saw it on a Demotivational Poster site and took it at face value, but I am indebted to Diagoras of Melos (http://diagorasofmelos.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/house_md_on_the_religious/) for taking the trouble to source the actual quote, which is a bit more considered:
    “Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there would be no religious people.”
    – Gregory House, M.D. Season 4, Episode 2, ‘The Right Stuff’.
    So DH, if you’re going to steal, steal that.

  47. fenchurch says:

    Is anyone else disturbed (grammatically or otherwise) that the wish bestowed on us was to receive “Jesus Love” (not “Jesus’ Love”)?

    What if I am not feeling horny, or would rather GIVE Jesus Love than receive it? I’ve always thought of myself as switch….

  48. the bonus says:

    Author, can I use the phrase ‘militant atheist blitzkrieg’ as a name for a band I’d like to put together with a good mate of mine?

  49. Author says:

    @the bonus – Of course. If I can be Bez.

  50. the bonus says:

    @Author are your maraccas up to it?


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