Yes – Easter is really about sex, fertility and worshipping women. No wonder Jesus wants to keep it quiet.
It really doesn’t really get any more pagan than Easter does it.
Shagging, joys of spring, rising sap, chocolate eggs, two days off work.
What’s not to like.
Obviously I am heartbroken that some old Jewish guy got nailed to a log 2000 years ago but there again he shouldn’t have pissed off the Romans. Shows a remarkable lack of judgement.
You would think that having an omnipotent and omniscient father he might have known better.
Sorry – they were creationist/new earther years in the post above.
I meant 2,000.
And I forgot about the edit facility.
And pissing off the Romans was especially dumb from someone who said “render unto Caesar what is Caesars”.
“John The Geologist
March 20th, 2009 at 3:48 am
It really doesnâ€™t really get any more pagan than Easter does it.
Shagging, joys of spring, rising sap, chocolate eggs, two days off work.”
and not forgetting that it’s date is determined by the lunar calender, heck the claim for christmas as his birthdate is dubious, but how on earth could he have died on a day that happens on a different date every year?
Maybe dog (and his son) move in mysterious ways.
If a hero dies a single death and a coward dies a thousand deaths it should be a doddle for the son of dog to change his deathday.
(I only do the geology stuff because I failed theology)
I tried to post this one before but the Author thought better of it. An atheist friend of mine always refers to this as “dead guy on a stick day”..My wifes’ Jewish boss thought it was extremely funny…no accounting taste…
Well she would find it funny wouldn’t she !
As they say “it woz the Jews wot strung up the baby jezzuz”
Jesus was a Jew.
Jesus was a Jew.
Jesus was a Jew.
kiyaroru (sort of) said:
And for John the Geologist,
The baby jebus the Romans strung up was a Jew.
Everybody knows that Easter is all about colouring eggs: http://www.grundschule-pretzschendorf.de/en/Handicrafts/Easter_eggs/easter_eggs.html
Rename Easter “Chocolate Egg Day”. That way no-one will be in any doubt of its true significance.
That baby jeezuz might have been a Jew but he was a Christian Jew.
A bit like being stopped by a gang in Glasgow and being asked if you are a catlick or a prodderstant. If you reply that you are an atheist they will ask you if you are a catlick atheist or a prodderstant atheist (before kicking your head in anyway for being an apostate).
Or like the black soldier who was asked by an old lady in Belfast (circa 1969) whether he was a catlick or a prodderstant. He replied “madam, with my skin colour I have enough problems”.
I have never understood why the whole crxifixion thing is meant to impress us ayway. Big deal. It wasn’t even one of the Romans nastier punishments. They were doing it to anyone who looked at them funny. After the Sparacists uprising they lined the roads with cruxifictions for 20 miles. Are all these people worthy of the same respect?
Show some respect, He died for your sins.
Not the ones you actually committed, you’re stilll going to burn in hell for those, you loose-living condom-utilising god-denying furnace-fodder. The other ones, the ones you were born with. Bad baby, now god has to kill a bit of himself and spend long week-end sort of dead.
Fastolfe, in Australia a few years ago Cadbury printed “The Story of Easter” on Easter Egg packets. It started (paraphrase), “Once upon a time the good boys and girls of the world were sad because they didn’t have any chocolate. So the Easter Bunny…”. Truly. I was surprised that this did not result in a storm of Christian indignation.
I’m having a long weekend right now, this being the time of the vernal equinox, which is of course the real reason for Easter.
I think that America’s Freedom from religion foundation have an annual competition involving a huge cash prize to anyone who can reconcile the various contradictory versions of the resurrection story in the New Testament.
P.S. Don — “Not the ones you actually committed, youâ€™re stilll going to burn in hell for those” — how true! I mean, what’s the point of the guy dying if you can’t go out and live it up afterwards?
Christianity is a religion based on a Miss-Conception
Further to my earlier post, If anyone is remotely interested that is, go to http://www.FFrF.org and do a search on “Easter Challenge”. There’s no mention of any cash prizes though.
Hey, now, here at home we take Easter quite seriously. On Good Friday, we gather together to watch “Life of Brian,” and on Sunday we listen to “Cavalleria Rusticana.” The latter is the opera in which the smarter people sing, “Let’s get out of here and go home before the shit hits.” Also, refer to Godfather III for another good use of it. The former, as everyone knows, features a true miracle that goes unnoticed: the first visitors from cartoon outer space.
As Poor Richard says, “Look on the bright side of life.” Please.
Here you are, just in time for easter and complete with
subtitles in Italian for the Kraut Popemeister:
~Live long and perspire~
Jerry w: thank you, thank you, for easy access to old pleasures–what would we do without M.P.? Lordy.
JMO: I always prefer “Zombie Jesus Day” myself
“Myface”? “Nintendo Playboxes”? What an old fuddy-duddy Jebus is (though I suppose if I’d reached 2000 I’d feel the same). I’m sure he’s right though. First of all they don’t know what Easter is about, next thing you know they’ll all be smoking drugs and listening to their long-haired “punk” music.
Here’s a Linux distribution that Jebus would approve of: http://ubuntuce.com/
And here’s one for Mo: http://www.ubuntume.com/
John The Geologist: It really doesnâ€™t really get any more pagan than Easter does it.
So you’ve not heard of Halowe’en?
I think Halloween is more medieval supernatural/eldritch based whereas Easter is more connected with ancient pagan earth/fertility rituals going back maybe 8-10,000 years.
The proof lies in the fact that we do not wear hockey masks at Easter or slash up young blondes.
John the Geologist: Thanks!! That was just the insight the parole board wanted from me… At last the penny drops!
So, what exactly is the meaning of easter? It being a festival with no fixed day, and celebrated by the consumption of chocolate eggs delivered by bunny rabbits?
Author, more fodder for your thoughts……(bowing, genuflected, rug-butting, whichever gives more praise unto thee author…)
This is very funny. I think that author just squeezed myspace and facebook into myface; and nintendo wii, playstation, and xbox into nintendo playbox. A good one!
Slugsie- I think the Halloween/ Easter thing is a Beltane/ Samhaim split? Both are meant to be Lunar rather than solar (although Halloween has stabilised). They are both Solstices and concerned with the growing season either beginning (sex, bunnies etc) or ending (fires, sacrifices etc).
Both got appropriated by the incoming religion and the preceding celebrations were somewhat demonised or sanitised.
All ceremonies are a hybrid I guess- check out the weird stuff that happens in South American Churches touched by indiegous religions sometime.
I, for one, look forward to Zombie Jesus day.
Master the obvious much?
As we seem to have Yuletide logs to celebrate the birth of sweet baby jeezuz we ought to have easter logs to commemorate the one he was nailed to at the other end of his life.
Specops – it just had to be said ! You can see why he/she posts under “anonymous”.
JoJo – I provide legal support on a “no win/no fee” basis so if you get off let me know and I will invoice you.
Daoloth – some good points well worth reflecting on. You have to admit that shagging yourself senseless at Easter and burning the people you dislike in November is a lot more fun than going to church.
John the Geologist “…..burning the people you dislike in November is a lot more fun than going to church.”
As is getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick, as I often say. Not that I mind looking at the altar boys and wondering which will be the priest’s sacrificial lamb of the evening.
The band “Marley’s Ghost” has a song with a similar theme. They are “Zarathustra Boosters!”
Old Time Religion: http://www.rhapsody.com/marleys-ghost
Not that obvious in my place where myspace and xboxes are virtually non-existant, wiis are scarce and the only games they sell in here are pirated ps2 DVDs.
God forbids us to learn the obvious fact that different people have different circumstances.
Christmas is pretty pagan too, when you look at it’s origins.
[...] I’m going to hell anyway… http://www.jesusandmo.net/2009/03/20/back/ [...]
Mo, you’re right!! Let’s go that far back!
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