match

April 20th, 2022

Long-time readers will remember that this same thing happened to Mo 16 years ago. Luckily he forgot about it, because I think it’s a pretty good joke.

Here’s the Mo v Rukana story.

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Discussion (24)¬

  1. Ronald Millam says:
    April 20, 2022 at 2:54 pm

    Did Mo forget about the time Jesus beat the snot out of the moneychangers in the temple?

  2. Anonymous says:
    April 20, 2022 at 3:42 pm

    You forgot the whip made of rope.

  3. Jveeds says:
    April 20, 2022 at 6:53 pm

    Thanks for supplying the sources of this tale…gotta love those hadith, kinda like Hebrew scripture tales of giants, floods, people living 1000 years and other mayhem

  4. Bvereshagen says:
    April 20, 2022 at 7:29 pm

    I read the Rukana story. I think if he spent some time in Ft. Lauderdale working on his takedown defense with the Blackzillians Mo would be SOL.

  5. mcalex says:
    April 20, 2022 at 8:30 pm

    Is JC’s wrestling ability from the Jacob becoming Israel story? Also isn’t it best of five?

  6. OtterBe says:
    April 20, 2022 at 8:37 pm

    Maybe it’s not your style, Author, but I think you missed a great opportunity to have stars & ringed planets orbiting Mo’s final speech rectangle à la Looney Tunes. Mo can be such a prideful puffer that it’s fun to see a take-down of him.

  7. Laripu says:
    April 21, 2022 at 12:33 am

    I wonder how Jesus would do against the Hindu god Ganesha, given that Ganesha has 4 arms and an elephant trunk.

    Someone should tell Jesus. Then he’d be forewarned, so therefore four-armed.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/78/Lalbaugh_Ganesha.jpg/1280px-Lalbaugh_Ganesha.jpg

    Then he could become “American Jesus”:
    https://external-preview.redd.it/DvKEm_2iiFmK0DTDdkJZ_W7zrO1lmVoSf86Y6XDNGJ4.jpg?auto=webp&s=609085f654eec4426c632b0cfce833fb986c2694

  8. postdoggerel says:
    April 21, 2022 at 3:56 am

    https://twitter.com/aziheron/status/1105104384227188737

  9. M27Holts says:
    April 21, 2022 at 7:22 am

    Anyway. Since WWF wasn’t a thing in the 4th century CE. Where in the buybull does it mention Jebus clotheslining a pharasee and getting money lenders in a full nelson?

  10. Mockingbird says:
    April 21, 2022 at 10:30 am

    It would be good to see Jesus demonstrate his Step-Over-Bollock-Lock on Mo. 🙂

  11. arbeyu says:
    April 21, 2022 at 10:50 am

    @mcalex
    Maybe Jesus took wrestling lessons after his dad got beaten by Jacob?

    I wonder if he had a “Jesus 3:16” sign.

  12. mcalex says:
    April 21, 2022 at 11:30 am

    @arbeyu at least one interpretation says it wasn’t big daddy, but [junior](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob_wrestling_with_the_angel#Interpretations) himself (hoping j&m does markdown)

  13. arbeyu says:
    April 21, 2022 at 11:56 am

    @mcalex
    Nice “Big Daddy” wrestling reference. Wish I’d thought of that.

    I’d read some of that Wikipedia page before posting. The biblical passage doesn’t commit to the adversary being a man, angel or god, so it leaves it open to (endless) interpretation. Like a lot of the Bible, the reader takes away from it what they came to it with.

  14. Laripu says:
    April 21, 2022 at 12:35 pm

    Wrestling an angel or wrestling god?

    Here’s another view.

    Jacob’s two wives:
    “Jacob, I saw you over the river with that man last night. Lying with a man as with a woman is an abomination! The Lord will strike you down!”

    Jacob:
    “I wasn’t lying with a man! I was … was … wrestling. Yeah that’s it, wrestling. And God won’t strike me down because that _was_ God! Or an angel. No it was God, for sure! And don’t call me Jacob anymore, my name is Israel because I beat God in a wrestling match. He called me Israel and blessed me!”

    Jacob’s two wives, this time rolling their eyes:
    “Oh, blessed you, huh. So _that’s_ why you were kneeling in front of him. So he could ‘anoint’ you with his staff. Oh Jacob, you liar!”

    Jacob:
    “Call me Israel.”

    Thus endeth the lesson. 😀

  15. Son of Glenner says:
    April 21, 2022 at 5:37 pm

    Laripu: I love it!

  16. Vittal says:
    April 22, 2022 at 12:07 am

    It’s amusing to compare the questionsonislam.com and aboutislam.net sites when it comes to this story.

    From questionsonislam.com:
    “Unfortunately, Rukana, who could easily throw down all of his opponents, somehow did not want to have the honor of being a true wrestler by overcoming the severe resentment and enmity he felt towards our Holy Prophet (PBUH.)”

    and from aboutislam.net:
    “The narration mentions that Rukana didn’t like the Prophet, not for personal reasons but because he knew the Prophet (peace be upon him) was preaching and teaching Islam and Rukana didn’t understand Islam so he just was apprehensive about it.”

    For a supposedly perfect book, it’s pretty awful at making sure it’s understood in a consistent way.

    https://questionsonislam.com/question/what-are-two-miracles-abu-ruqana-who-was-unique-wrestler-saw-prophet-pbuh
    https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/about-muhammad/story-prophet-muhammad-wrestling-champ/

    Also, if you read past the wresting bit, it seems that Mo called over a gum tree, had a bit of a chat with it and sent it back. Who knew that Mo could summon Ents? Given that, I can see why Mo would be so peeved about Jesus assaulting that fig tree.

  17. M27Holts says:
    April 25, 2022 at 8:56 am

    Thinking about it isn’t PBUH equivalent to Heil Hitler? Just a thought…

  18. Laripu says:
    April 25, 2022 at 1:50 pm

    M27Holts, I see this difference:
    – “Heil Hitler” was used as a greeting to show adherence to Hitler during Hitler’s lifetime. It wasn’t religious. Hitler had support among Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, and atheists.
    – “PBUH” is used to show adherence to a dead religious figure.

    Other differences:
    – Naziism brooked no differences of opinion. Among Muslims there are many gradations of belief and they range from tolerant peaceful people all the way to murderous fanatics like ISIS.
    – There were no Nazi sects, but Shia and Sunni sects stand in strong opposition to each other.

  19. Donn says:
    April 25, 2022 at 3:02 pm

    The last two don’t seem to add up. Maybe it would be better to say, Nazis succeeded in suppressing contrary opinions, where Islam is still duking it out.

  20. M27Holts says:
    April 25, 2022 at 3:37 pm

    Laripu. There are more flavours of Islam than just two. I worked with a geezer who was an imam’s youth control minister. He lived in Nelson, Lancashire. He tild me that there were 4 mosques in Nelson, and his mosque was the most authentic because the other 3 were far too tolerant of western influences, he particularly disliked the heavier rock acts since he said they were all devil worshippers. Good job I never wore my Rotting-christ tour t-shirt then…

  21. Laripu says:
    April 26, 2022 at 2:10 pm

    Donn, there were no contrary versions of Naziism while Hitler was alive. There are contrary versions of Islam (more than two, as M27Holts pointed out) because Mohammed is dead.

    Now that Hitler is dead, there are plenty of competing Nazi organizations worldwide. Looking at this list, it’s a bit frightening how many they’re are:
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_neo-Nazi_organizations

    So you’re right, that point of mine was wrong. I made the mistake of thinking that Naziism was a thing if the past. I was wrong: there are dozens of active Nazi groups.

    There’s even the World Union of National Socialists, which itself has dozens of members.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Union_of_National_Socialists

  22. Laripu says:
    April 26, 2022 at 2:37 pm

    M27Holts, the idea that music acts are devil worshippers has just popped up in American news:
    https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/cardi-b-billie-eilish-dubbed-235407499.html

    I’ve seen and heard Billie Eilish on tv. Seems like a talented young woman. The woman running for office, and claiming Eilish is satanic, is – no surprise – endorsed by Trump.

  23. M27Holts says:
    April 26, 2022 at 7:53 pm

    To be fair a lot of death metal bands have demonic and satanic memes running through their music. And I love some of it. Ghost of Perdition by Opeth is definately in my top 10 music tracks of all time…but I can listen to death metal abd then some Debussy…fairly eclectic tastes have I. But I detest Rap , House and drum and bass…don’t mind ambient trance though…

  24. M27Holts says:
    April 27, 2022 at 11:43 am

    Laripu. She also linked to QANON…QED

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