sore2

September 30th, 2015

A resurrected joke today.

The new Danish collection of Jesus & Mo has been published! It’s a got a foreword by Kenan Malik, and Jesus and Mo speak Danish in it. It would make a great present for your Danish friends, or for yourself if you’re Danish.

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Discussion (22)¬

  1. Hmph. Reminds me of the old one where Jesus walks into a motel with three nails in his hand and asks if the Motel owner can “put him up for the night?”

  2. the romans were experimenting with acupuncture; the idea still needed some work, though.

  4. Q: Why was Jesus always late for appointments after he rose from the dead?

    A: ‘Cause it took him all morning to do his nails.

  6. So Jesus walks into a Motel 6, hands the desk clerk three nails and says,
    “Can you put me up for the night?”.

  7. Snort! Hot coffee spurting out the nose is a good way to clear sinus, though it does make your eyes water for a bit.

    Congrats on a bit more notoriety with Kenan Malik writing the forward on the Danish collection.

  8. Gerry, thanks for the reminder for Blasphemy day.

    Mohammed goes into a shop and asks for a couple of Cindy dolls, the shopkeeper says: “So, you are having to pay for sex now.”

  10. Nicely! I thought Mo was going for a jibe at Leviticus 19:28 (Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord). But, no! It’s a crucifixion joke.

    Happy Blasphemy Day, everyone!

  11. Sorry to diappoint you all. Not sure how one can ‘blaspheme’ something that does not exist. Better to drop it because the misguided could interpret celebrating blasphemy day as a tacit acknowledgement that there is something to blaspheme.

  13. Christians can live and be not serious
    While islam is outraged and furious
    To be part of humanity
    Leave dogmatic insanity
    Islam, refuge of the delirious.

  15. Solihull’s Imam wrote the following in one of his regular articles for the local newspaper. The subject matter was God, Paradise, Adam and Eve, a regular topic for the Imam, however in this one he wrote (he starts by quoting from the Quran) “God said ‘And they ate of it, and their private parts became apparent to them, and they began to fasten over themselves from the leaves of Paradise’ which caused their bodies to have major biological changes to digest the fruit of the forbidden tree and as a consequence, became in need for a toilet and had to come down to planet earth to use one”
    No wonder many muslims are confused and aggressive. By the way, the Imam is a psychiatrist working in the NHS. Honest.

  16. The one requires audience participation, so imagine I’m a Jewish tailor, and you are Jesus, and you are getting measured for a shirt for your second coming. (Because you’d need a shirt, right?)

    So I tell you to hold up your right arm, and I carefully measure it; then I tell you to hold up the other arm, and I carefully measure that too; then I suddenly make nailing motions on both hands, and the punch line is: Got ya again!!!

    Well, it was hilarious when I heard it in high school anyway…

  17. If the comments are to be [bad] jokes then-

    Q How do we know Jesus wore women’s clothing

    A Because he was a cross dresser

  19. Hold your arms out and rock back and forth. Ask whoever’s around “What’s this?”

    Jesus on a rubber cross.

  21. have to wonder whether muslims would find the idea of Mo with body piercings offensive or halal

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