Random Comic
tea

tea

Try it!

Until the end of today (Feb 5), Lulu is offering free shipping on all book orders with the following code at checkout: 6MOREWEEKS

Bookshop is here.



└ Tags: , ,

Discussion (72)¬

  1. DocAtheist says:

    Back in the ’70s, in high school, a classmate started saying, “I’m going to Hell. Want to come with me?” Most of us, after getting over the initial shock, said yes, even “Hell, yes”, and then turned to likewise invite others. What a rebelliously fun day that was!

    Now, 40 years later, I wonder whether this was atheism before the word “atheism” had quite gotten out among us…

    So, today, I say unto ye: Hey, y’all! I’m going to Hell! Want to come with me?

  2. simoninfrance says:

    Hang on a mo. I’ll just dispense with the thermal undies and go get my handcart.

  3. Unruly Simian says:

    @Doc I always say that I will be busy shaking hands when I do get there….

  4. Freethinkin+Franklin says:

    :-) smile my friends… as there is no hell.

  5. Freethinkin+Franklin says:

    smile my friends… as there is no hell… :-)

  6. Dominic O'Sullivan says:

    This one made me chuckle, nice work.

  7. Nassar+Ben+Houdja says:

    The issues of tolerance and respect.
    Fundamentalists tend to reject.
    In the name of a merciful deity.
    They practice violent insanity.
    Humanity, they totally reject.

  8. Suffolk Blue says:

    Phew! For a minute there I thought you said we were all going to Hull!

  9. David+Amies says:

    Hooray, the man’s a genius! He has the uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head time after time and he never hits his thumb when doing so!

    Keep up the good work.

    David Amies

  10. Humans eh! says:

    Another classic.
    A cup of tea and a koran sounds delightful.

    (If a koran was a tasty sweet biscuit)
    :-)

  11. Mo has a moment of self-knowledge! But I bet he didn’t notice he’d had it…

  12. steeve says:

    Ah! The magic biscuits are back!

  13. omg says:

    DocAtheist,
    Sorry, I can’t meet you there since I don’t believe in hell ;-)

    Suffolk Blue,
    Please specify the Hull you are talking about :-) :
    http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hull

  14. omg says:

    DocAtheist,
    Sorry, I can’t meet you there since I don’t believe in hell ;-)

  15. omg says:

    It seems that my two last posts get stuck into the limbo…

    I was sure the pope discontinued the limbo a while ago:
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1549439/The-Pope-ends-state-of-limbo-after-800-years.html

  16. Mike says:

    I only got six verses in before I ran into this.
    45:7 Woe to every sinful liar,
    45:8 Who hears the verses of Allah recited to him, then persists arrogantly as if he had not heard them. So give him tidings of a painful punishment.
    45:9 And when he knows anything of Our verses, he takes them in ridicule. Those will have a humiliating punishment.
    45:10 Before them is Hell, and what they had earned will not avail them at all nor what they had taken besides Allah as allies. And they will have a great punishment.
    45:11 This [Qur’an] is guidance. And those who have disbelieved in the verses of their Lord will have a painful punishment of foul nature.
    So, yeah.

  17. Chiefy says:

    Thanks for the link, omg. “Grace has priority over sin, and the exclusion of innocent babies from heaven does not seem to reflect Christ’s special love for the little ones.”

    The irony is strong with this one.

    I always liked the Jamaican limbo better, anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BTjG-dhf5s

  18. Emma+Peel says:

    omg, I think Pope Francis will bring it back…yes, along with the Samba and Rhumba. You know what those “latin” types are like!

  19. DevonDreaming says:

    Two points: Hull, the one in England, isn’t too bad a place. For one thing, it’s full of Englishmen which makes it automatically a small and valuable part of The True Holy Land. The One True Paradise, England.

    Secondly, does it really matter whether one “believes” in Hell? If one or more of them exists then it does or they do, there isn’t very much one can do either way. What this implies is that we should take the path of least suppositions, we should use parsimony of axioms, Occam’s Slicey Thing. We should behave as though there were no Hells or Heavens until we get there and regret it. No other behaviour makes logical, reasonable sense.
    Some of you are right, it truly doesn’t matter what we believe. The universe is as it is and we can’t change its fundamental structure; not until we get the high technology that will allow us to. So we may as well party like it’s all real and final and we don’t have an afterlife.
    After all, we may not and if we don’t all this posturing and waving of books and sticks is rather silly.

    I wonder, sarcastically, if there are gods and if they are sitting in their comfy chairs drinking mead and ambrosia laughing at the antics of the little monkeys who are trying to gain their approval, trying and massively failing.
    That would be very funny.
    Especially if the real, true gods were the god of the aliens from Zeta Reticulus. Which is about as likely as them being from Earth.

  20. Michael says:

    “Heaven for climate, Hell for society.” -Mark Twain

  21. djdummy says:

    DD.
    Should we be worried about Zeta Reticulus having one of Occam’s Slicey Things
    or should we just go with the Zeta Herculis Moving Group?. At least mo has a good mug.

  22. JoJo says:

    Who was it who said, “The best part about going to hell would be meeting all my heroes…”?

  23. omg says:

    At least Jesusandmo is not blocked in hell.

  24. JohnM says:

    @JoJo …The best part about going to hell would be meeting all my heroes…

    Just about everyone who posts on J&M would either have said it or endorsed it.

    And please don’t forget this

  25. Suffolk Blue says:

    Kingston-Upon … but it was just a cheap gag. I went to Uni there and actually quite liked the place.

  26. chicago dyke says:

    very nice. i once worked for a guy who liked to change his religions every ten years or so. right now, he’s “deeply, devoutly” islamic. but he’s fairly new to it and only recently read the koran cover to cover. the people who converted him are these new agey white american muslims who like to talk about how islam is mostly about love, meditation and grace. let me tell you he won’t be reading the koran all the way thru again any time soon. so much of it is “kill the unbeliever” and “hell yawns before those who don’t believe” etc.

  27. chicago dyke – your former colleague may be in for a shock when he decides after ten years to try something else. Click the “apostasy” tag (above right) for some good comments.

  28. Sinnataggen says:

    Those who threaten others with reprisals for not believing raise serious questions about their concept of belief.

  29. omg says:

    Am I the only one that read “IN COD WE TRUST” on this $20?
    I find it funny.
    http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1933_Double_eagle_%282%29.jpg

  30. omg says:

    So, now I understand why the fish is a symbol for christian: they trust cods.

    I can understand, cod can be very god good.

  31. white squirrel says:

    The-Pope-ends-state-of-limbo-after-800-years

    So ‘god’ has to obey the commandments of the pope then?

  32. omg says:

    white squirrel,
    You have to understand that the pope is infallible, so 800 years ago a pope decide that the limbo exist. Now, 800 years later, an other pope (who is also infallible) decide that the limbo don’t exist. Don’t try to understand the religious people.

  33. hotrats says:

    omg:

    Perhaps it’s the Piece of Cod that passeth all understanding.

  34. two cents' worth says:

    Au contraire, Freethinkin+Franklin! There really is a Hell–and it is frozen over as of this writing :-) . Here’s the Web site for tourists: http://www.gotohellmi.com/

    DocAtheist, simoninfrance, & Unruly Simian, be sure to check the Web site before you go–it would be a shame if you were to miss a special event because your trip was mis-timed.

    Suffolk Blue, are you an alumnus (alumna?) of Damnation University? Which school granted your diploma? I’m pretty sure I’ve completed the requirements for the Kiss-of-Death Degree of Horticulture, but they won’t give me my diploma until I’ve paid my fee ;-) (Info. on DAM U is available at http://www.gotohellmi.com/damu )

  35. omg says:

    If you prefer, here is the Hell City (I must admit, I like this song):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP38vqGALHw

  36. JohnnieCanuck says:

    Canada’s Parliament buildings have a good view of Hull. It’s just across the Ottawa river, in Québec. Most every winter the river, like Hull, freezes over.

    Here on the West Coast we find that Hell’s Gate is beyond Hope, on the Fraser River.

  37. Jim Baerg says:

    I think the coin should be money for Newfoundland while it was a Dominion on it’s own rather than a province of Canada. Also the prime minister for Newfoundland would be the Codfather.

  38. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Author, forget Islamophobia, Ophelia has uncovered a blatant Authorophobe!
    http://freethoughtblogs.com/butterfliesandwheels/2014/02/spirit-of-benevolence-undermined/

    Edit function :-)
    Thank Author: our prayers are answered.

  39. Luckie408 says:

    I love the Jesus & Mo cartoons! It’s so great to know there’s so many people who think the same way I do. Hello friends! :)

  40. Chiefy says:

    And one of the commenters called these cartoons “tasteless.” Nonsense. I have never known anyone to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions in such a tasteful manner.

  41. omg says:

    Just to share with you all:
    http://imgur.com/r/all/7MW4OeT

  42. white squirrel says:

    re- If a koran was a tasty sweet biscuit

    well given the sheer range of things that mo’s fantasy novel was alleged to have been written on – palm leaves etc – his deranged facist rant might have been inscribed on biscuits too

  43. omg says:

    A sweet biscuit can be toxic, depending on its contents.

  44. Voice of Saison says:

    New to this comic. Best ever, along with The Far Side and maybe Calvin and Hobbes. I’m up to the Fall of ’09 and loving it. Bravo, Author!!!

  45. Chiefy says:

    Here’s another forbidden image for you: Father, Son, and Casper the Holy Ghost. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nakedpastor/2014/01/god-considers-mark-driscolls-mars-hill-church/

  46. hotrats says:

    65 good reasons not to worry about going to hell:
    http://imgur.com/r/all/d4wlXQu

  47. Mike Rozeffallick says:

    Ah, so Nerd of Redhead is Mohammed!

    It all finally makes sense. *FLOOSH*

  48. efahl says:

    How can anyone not believe in Hell? I’ve been there many times and have a sister who lives just up the road… It’s a lovely place and the people who live there are quite friendly.

    https://maps.google.com/maps?q=Hell,+Michigan

  49. two cents' worth says:

    Welcome to the Cock & Bull, Luckie408! Great avatar! And welcome to you, Voice of Saison! Great name! (Thanks to Wikipedia — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saison — I think I got the reference. If in vino, veritas; then in saison, reason. Right?) I’m glad that both of you found your way to the pub :-) .

    Omg, thanks for the link! It does, indeed, give me hope that the next generation will ably carry on our mission to spread the voice of reason. Plus, the little girl’s smile is simply adorable!

  50. DevonDreaming says:

    I’ve been thumbing through the images on C&B’s favourite image storing website and I found this one: http://imgur.com/r/all/qcnxI51
    I would just like to say to every single imam, mullah, priest, padre, pope and prophet of all the gods : let us see you do anything this good.
    No?
    Thought not.

    (Yes, this is also posted to last week’s egg-introducing episode. I was tired. I’m still tired but at least I’m semi-awake, now.)

    If you’re ever nearby when she sings live, have a listen to Tina Bridgman, her live voice is ever so much better, purer, more melodic, more beautiful and more interesting than her recordings. She does not have the voice of an angel, she is ever so much more human and lovely than that. I heard her when I was not doing much in a very rainy Exeter (Devon, England) and she makes the pain go away.
    Buy her albums.
    Hey, I’m spamming here, folks.
    (Is it spam if I do it only once and for a very worthy cause?)
    It *ALWAYS* rains in Exeter.

  51. omg says:

    DevonDreaming,
    The second link didn’t seems to work (at least for me), so I fixed it for you:
    http://www.tinabridgman.co.nz

  52. omg says:

    Just found this one: Those who believe in creationism are slowing our evolution. Ho, did I like this one?
    http://imgur.com/r/atheist/XDtKMQv

  53. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    DevonDreaming, I’d say it’s only spamming if we don’t like what you’re promoting.

    Has anybody else seen Channel 4’s Gay Mountain Sochi ‘tribute’? At the end their logo appears (rainbow coloured of course) along with the words BORN RISKY.
    Not that risky, wouldn’t you say, Author?
    Celebrating LGBT (why do I always think of a sandwich whenever I see that?) in a country where the majority of the population have no problem with ‘other’ sexualities isn’t overly risky at all, unlike something really risky, something like keeping the Black Egg of Islamophobia locked away, maybe.

  54. Mary2 says:

    Devon Dreaming, Great photo of the heart surgeon and fabulous challenge to the religious: I bet none of them can meet it.

    AOS, it’s not a sandwich (although it does sound like it should be) it’s Alphabet Soup.

  55. AoS – I recommend a Lettuce Gherkin Bacon & Tomato sub for lunch. Next week’s rainbow special from Subway, celebrating the Sochi Winter Games.

  56. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    Gherkin with bacon? The mind boggles. I’d prefer Lightly Grilled Bacon and Tomato, I think.

    Mary, I wonder if there’s a person alive who has been served a bowl of alphabet soup (or plate of Alphabetti Spaghetti) and hasn’t immediately tried to spell out a swear-word?
    Which reminds me; Mrs. o’Sagan (who is now back on top form and once again sends thanks to you all for your kind words, as do I, you wonderful miscreants. :-) ) is mildly dyslexic. When the kids were young, every Christmas they’d get at least one ‘stocking-filler’ present labelled ‘Happy Christmas. Love from Satan!
    I’m surprised they grew up as well-balanced as they are.

  57. Chiefy says:

    I was thinking Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato. Deliciously gay.

    AoS, I’m sure they know that Dog loves them.

  58. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Chiefy, did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

  59. DevonDreaming says:

    omg, 10th at 1753: I suspect I know what went wrong with my Tina Bridgman link. I think I’ve fixed it this time.
    I didn’t copy over the “http” protocol marker.
    Thank you for pointing it out and for fixing it. It gives me another chance to spam the comments with her website.
    Chiefy, 11th at 1721: Dog does love me. Some of them think I’m absolutely wonderful. Cats, too. I’ve never understood that.

    Edit: yerp, that fixed the linky. Cool.

  60. Devon Dreaming says:

    If you liked my heart-transplant-team picture, you’ll absolutely adore this story and the pictures that go with it.
    No peeking if you’ve just eaten, are about to eat, are thinking of surgery or are thinking of ever having an appetite.
    Or if you’re squeamish.
    But today people are walking around for decades with bits of dead guys in them. That is so cool and I’d still like to see any padre, priest or yammerer in a tower do better. Or half as cool.
    They talk a good game but their only selling point is a coupon that’s only redeemable after you totally, completely and finally die for a long, long time. Even if you die for hours and then come back, like transplant patients, you don’t get to know the really, for-true answers.
    “I have a super-power. I can turn invisible. I can only do it when no one is looking at me.”
    Comparing priests to surgeons doesn’t show the frocked perverts in a good light, does it?
    So exactly what good are they?
    And why should we respect them?

  61. Devon Dreaming says:

    Acolyte+of+Sagan on the 11th at 2:53 pm:
    Well, there is one sentient being who has eaten alfabetty spaghetti and not thought to form rude words, me.
    I tend to try to write haikus then fork the noodley bits onto toast and try to do another haiku with the remains.
    I sometimes wondered whether anyone noticed?
    None were ever published.

  62. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    DevonDreaming, only haikus using pasta? That makes you a saint.

    I suppose you never typed 5407708, 5318008, 55378008or 710.77345 into your pocket calculator* either?

    Also, “Dog does love me. Some of them think I’m absolutely wonderful. Cats, too. I’ve never understood that..”.
    Well, dogs are generally social animals that will instinctively gravitate towards people who are comfortable in their presence, and generally ignore those who aren’t; cats are malevolent little fuckers that do the opposite.

    Mike Rozeffallick says:

    February 9, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    Ah, so Nerd of Redhead is Mohammed!

    Who is Nerd of Redhead?

    *For the benefit of the youngsters among us, once upon a time, in an age before personal computers and mobile phones, a pocket calculator was an entity in its own right, and those numbers only work for an LED/LCD-style readout.

  63. machigai says:

    bored now

  64. machigai says:

    5 minute editing?
    since when?
    please, I wasn’t passed-out for that long!

  65. machigai says:

    OMG
    the temptation…

  66. machigai says:

    sorry

  67. WalterWalcarpit says:

    Machigal, about a fortnight for the five minutes by all accounts. And ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it after 13 minutes … but we will all succumb to the novelty as I do right now:

    * further to elucidate Ao’S’ footnote such a display is known as a seven segment indicator examples can still be seen at fuel stations where turning them upside down is hampered by logistics.

  68. DevonDreaming says:

    AoS, no, sorry, I never did. I used calculators a lot when they first came out, though they were banned in O’level arithmetic exams for obvious reasons, but I never played games with them trying to form sweary words. And those I did not write poetry on as they only had 8 or 10 “letter” displays.
    I only found out about the funny numbers when a real Chinese student at Uni showed a few of them to me. I was then surprised by my own lack of initiative in never discovering them myself.
    It just never occurred to me to write rude words on LCD screens.
    Does that make me a bad person?
    On the subject of spamming things I like so it would only be spamming were I to spam really horrible things like this? Not the music but the fact that it’s the dreaded iTunes, I mean. The music’s magical.
    Are there rules?
    I mean, I know iTunes would be spamming but is there a list of rules anywhere? Like maybe in a big, black book called “The Book”?
    That would be ever so neat, wouldn’t it?

  69. hotrats says:

    DevonDreaming:
    I would recommend that you adopt the broad consensus definition of spamming as per Wiki, and deduce the implicit rules from that; commercial links are spamming by any definition, and with or without a specific rule, plugging any link again and again gets tiresome, no matter how much you like her.

  70. DevonDreaming says:

    hotrats: I don’t like her. I only met her once, while she was busking in a cold and rainy Exeter and we barely spoke to each other so I don’t know the lady well enough to like her and she, no doubt, saw me as just another fan in the crowd. We’ll never meet again.
    I suspect I could like her, but I suspect that of many people from Theadora to Ms. Baker, from Mme. Curie to Fr. Germaine and a lot of others. I’ll never know.
    I do like her live singing.
    However, point taken. Point very taken. I was trying for gentle humour in the serial not-spamming.
    Obviously it didn’t work.
    I won’t do it again.

  71. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    Devon Dreaming, AoS, no, sorry, I never did…….Does that make me a bad person?
    Not at all, as I pointed out in my – ahem – 17-syllable opener to you in my last post. And keep up the humour, we’re not all grumpy buggers here, at least not all of the time. ;-)

    Walter, 7-segment indicator was the phrase I was searching the old noggin for. Thanks.

Comment¬

NOTE: This comments section is provided as a safe place for readers of J&M to talk, to exchange jokes and ideas, to engage in profound philosophical discussion, and to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions. As such, comments of a racist, sexist or homophobic nature will not be tolerated.

If you are posting for the first time, or you change your username and/or email, your comment will be held in moderation until approval. When your first comment is approved, subsequent comments will be published automatically.