Jesus and Mo will return when the holy days are done.
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April 2009 M T W T F S S « Mar May » 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 -
- Vol 4 is here! Big Al is the bumper-sized fourth volume of J&M strips you've all been waiting for. 140 strips, from "added" to "moose" - an ideal present to celebrate Jesus' pretend birthday!
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- NICE T-SHIRT (Thank you for not provoking my uncontrollable lust). Others available, including NEW "street-safe" styles! Click the pic to see.
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Take it easy, guys, this year’s Easter is yet to come – orthodox one, but still…
I saw Elvis last night at a pool hall in Minneapolis. He was with a guy whom I suspect was the author. I suspect he was the author because he kept shouting “Jesus!” and “Holy Moley!”. Upon reflection, however, this may have been slim evidence, based on mere preference on my part.
I always considered Author to be female. The counterpoint arguments always come from behind the “camera” making Barmaid Author’s alter-ego.
I’ve never seen any gender reference on the website, which I imagine is deliberate, so I could be wrong. I don’t think I am, though.
Author, like God herself, is undoubtedly female. BTW its amazing how many religious types you can rouse to apoplectic fury by referring to God as “she” and then asking about their knowledge of Gods genitals when they protest.
Pikeamus
I thought I had posted this but seem to have forgotten to press the GO button.
Your argument with a bibleist/creationist reminds me of an old quote.
“If you argue with an idiot the best result you can possibly hope for is that you win an argument against an idiot”.
Daoloth – I actually have heavenly genitals which I would be happy to share with you (having made the assumption that you are of the femaleist persuasion).
Another way of bringing a religionist to incandescent fury is just to laugh at them and say “Good grief – I thought that mumbo jumbo died out in the Middle Ages”.
I try to refer to god as ‘it’. It seems pretty ridiculous to be assigning gender to a non-reproducing, singular entity.
John:
Thanks for the advice but the arguement has moved to a public forum so I feel obliged to carry on just so that those that are uninformed and uninclined to do the research for themselves do not take what the idiot has been saying to be true. I think rather a lot of people end up believing the claims made by the religious simply because they don’t see people try and dispute them.
Enough with the genitals already. I’m trying to do important government work here and you all are distracting me.
I recently got into an arguement/discussion about religious beliefs with a xtian friend of mine. He kept saying the bible says this and and your taking the bible out of contect and you don’t understand what god meant by that and on and on. Until I fianlly got him to see that he could not argue with me from a position based soully on the his belief. He had a moment of understanding then said you’re right but I still believe in god/bible….gasp, sigh, shrug. At least I still have my “correct” point of view….
When they say that it’s in the bible. Ask them “Which bible?”
King James; Revised King James; Douai Rheimes; International; New International; New Revised International; New American; New Revised American; etc, etc, etc
This will slow the down.
Heavenly genitals? Well, I’ve heard a few in my time….
haha kiyaroru so now we can paraphrase that old quote…
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just read one fewer bible than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other bibles, you will understand why I dismiss yours”
@DonR and Daoloth
Sorry chaps – I have to unmask Author as a man, and a British one at that. His name is David.
Hopefully the fundamentalists won’t be able to track him down on that basis…
Ah Oliver, how sad that nuns would oversimplify something like a mortal sin when explaining the inexplicable to bored 12 year olds….
Johnothan T. Rock-Splitter writes: “Another way of bringing a religionist to incandescent fury is just to laugh at them and say “Good grief – I thought that mumbo jumbo died out in the Middle Ages”.”
Haha, that’s more my style. Thanks for the tip.
Sacrificial gods are all the rage. And cruxifixions a doddle- as the man said-at least it gets you out in the open air.
As this example shows. http://russellsteapot.com/comics/2007/martyr-con-07.html
Are the holy days over yet?
April 21 and still no new strip. I hope the resurrection worked out.
kiyaroru: I’ve been reading the Douai Rheimes Bible with a voice synthesiser (enabling something more constructive to be done at the same time). It sounds vaguely amusing. Have got to the end of Deuteronomy, my goodness there are hundreds more pages to go. (You can get the text from Project Gutenberg, http://www.gutenberg.org).
What right do you’s have critising God,Jesus and the Holy spirit(trinity).If you don’t no how the resurrection of the Lord was said in the Gospel of the Lord then what right do you have making up stupid jokes like this. I think you people need to grow up and even if you are a religious person who thinks this joke is awesome and lyk sooo funny then you need to grow up. Thats whats so wrong about the world today is that there are those who make fun of the whole cruciffiction sort of thing anf that he died on the cross and rised again in three days. In John 14: 6 it clearly says: Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through me. He died for us to make it easy for us to have a closer relationship with his father and he made a easier way for us to go to heaven if not we burn in hell were maggots eat our fleash. All im saying is that this joke is stupid because in some way it may affend some people. Im just a little kid affter all but im expressing myself and saying what i want to say after all this is a website that you can say what you want to say well i think im finish now.
I’m hoping that Author is spending some of this time designing a new SPOING T-Shirt
. Perhaps we could send one to Jane
Jane&imChristian. although you’re only a child you will grow up and hopefully you’ll be a little less ‘mature’. Life’s fun and it doesn’t need to be dictated by a fairy story. I’m sure you can decide whether you are a good person or not. Go and discover it for yourself and enjoy it. Life’s not all about God and killing people on crosses
Jane: You think what is wrong with the world today is that people make fun of old stories? Really? You can’t think of some other, much more serious, things that are wrong in the world?
Anyway, did you ever stop to think about how silly the resurrection story sounds? It’s pretty hard to talk about it at all without making fun of it, unless you’re not actually willing to think about it and just parrot lines. God sends his son (who is also himself) down to earth so he can be sacrificed to himself so that he doesn’t have to punish everyone in the world eternally for something one of their ancestors did. Makes about as much sense as a David Lynch film.
Dear Jane&imChristian:
You quote “In John 14: 6 it clearly says: Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through me”.
I’m pretty sure that Al Pacino said almost the same thing in the movie “The Godfather”, but he had a gun so I’d have to pay more attention to it than what some guy wrote in that book of fables you quote from.
If you don’t believe me, consider what happened to “Fredo”, and he was both a son and a brother, who became a (hole filled) holy ghost.
Best regards,
Jerry&imnot
Jane says… “What right do you’s have critising God,Jesus and the Holy spirit(trinity)” Well, I suspect that this strip is written in England, so I can’t speak for the author, but I live in the good ol’ USA and I have every right to say whatever I want. It says so, right there in that little thing they call the Constitution. Right near where is says the gov needs to stay out of the whole fairy tale business.
As for “If you don’t no how the resurrection of the Lord was said in the Gospel of the Lord then what right do you have making up stupid jokes like this.” So, are you telling me you’ve read the original, in the original language? No? So what version did you read? King James’ version that he had tailored to his needs? The Good News bible, dumbed down to take out all that confusing, conflicting stuff so no one questions it? Perhaps the Knox bible where Ronald Knox, paid to come up with a new version just before WWII, gave new meaning to formerly confusing passages? We had all three when I was growing up. I’m not sure, however, that my mother meant for me to compare them and wonder about the discrepancies.
You certainly don’t sound like a “little kid” — I’d guess more of a pre-teen. So let me ask you this: Do you believe in Zeus and Apollo and Prometheus and all those guys? If not, why not? Surely their works were every bit as impressive and wondrous as JC’s or even the god of the old testament. And, by the way, every bit as substantiated as JC’s. Did your parents ever tell you that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy were real? Do you (still) believe them? If not, why not? How is that any different?
So to get to the crux of your question, regarding the gospel and the resurrection, the New International Version describes it thusly: “But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense. Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.” (Luke 24:11-12) So even the disciples thought it was nonsense and Pete saw that the body was gone and wondered what happened. Well, let’s see, take a body, made of meat, and put it in a cave in the woods and leave it for a couple of days. What do you really think happened? Miracle or wolves? I’ll go with the explanation that doesn’t require believing in a magic man.
by the way, since we’ve no new comic yet, which of the bible’s conflicting creation stories do you believe? And, if you’re a girl (as the name Jane might suggest), are you prepared for your parents to sell you into slavery? Because the bible says they can do that. Better be on your best behaviour!
atheist?
We can fix that…
http://nostradamus.atspace.com
re: jane&imchristian
troll
troll
troll
We are all just fretting, awaiting the return of J&M
Has Author gone on a holiday trip? Very strange! He or she usually announces when there will be a hiatus in the publication of this wonderful cartoon.
The big difference between Jesus and Author:
we all know the Author WILL return
*peeking out from behind cover* I think she’s gone…
Damn drive-by trolls…
Unfortunately, I think “Jane&imChristian” is supposed to be something like “Jane&JimChristian” (maybe “Kim”), implying a partnership and thus adulthood.
I believe our transient troll may be of the “I beleevs it ‘cos mah Pa tol’ me so en i donts likes ta lern” persuasion.
Jane should spend more time in school learning how to do useful stuff (like spelling, grammar and sentence construction) rather than reading old books full of fairy stories, myths and nonsense.
If she did mean to type Jane&Kim then she deserves (according to her own sky fairy rules and regulations) to be stoned to death for blasphemy.
I just wondered if jprandi would like my email address (as well as my house number, street, town and telephone number!).
You do make a good point. Jesus’ suffering was not extraordinary, compared to the suffering that many people have gone through. Well, the suffering that is obvious from the surface, anyway. I think there’s two things that make it extraordinary.
Firstly, he chose the suffering. Volunteered for being scorned, rejected by everyone he knew, and then for death. Can’t say I’d do that for studio flat with a park view. Would have to be a Penthouse suite at least.
Secondly, from what I understand, Jesus’ spirit was also tormented for the few days before being resurrected. Again, with exact knowledge of what was going to happen, and with full power to stop at any time. My theology isn’t fantastic, so someone correct me if I’m wrong.
Anyway, I thought I’d pipe up with an alternative view for arguments sake. Nice comic. Some Christians need a little fun poked at them. It may just get rid of the stick up their butt.
Author! Where are you?! I hope nothing’s wrong.
My hunch is that Author is male. Regardless of gender, if the barmaid reflects his views then he could feasibly be a Man U fan. Which marks him down slightly in my estimations. But if he comes back soon all will be forgiven!
<waiting for new cartoon…patiently
I think a better sacrifice would have been jesus going to hell for all eternity..you know, since thats how his dad wants to punish the rest of us….just let him stay there and we can go to happy land with god…the cross thing was dramatic and all but not nearly sacrificey enough
But Matt, every time you swear or have unclean thoughts you torture the baby Jesus again. Have you no heart?
Does anyone know if a visa is required to travel to Argentina?
We have been missing Jesus and Mo for many days now. Hope you will pick up the good work again!
But if not, thanks for many a good laugh, not to speak of much afterthought. At least I hope your archives will remain on the net
[...] I really only meant for there to be a few, select zombie scenes. You know, Hippie Jesus gets slightly killed and comes back, complete with holes in extremeties; a few graves open up once My vacation is over – [...]
Which park does Barmaid have in mind?
Presumably in Heaven you get your boredom gland excised.
We can’t know when the “holy days” end without knowing what, if anything, is holy to the Author. If the Author is a pantheist, the “holy days” may go on forever!
Dick M: More interesting imho than who made the sacrifice — to whom was the sacrifice made?
Ketil G: You and William the Bloody Awful Poet.
Sarge084: One still prefers that fiction make sense.
Hobbes: Most of my gun-nut friends are atheists.
Hobbes: Most of my gun-nut friends are atheists.
grouchy-one: I know someone whose father was raised in a strict Christer community in rural Arizona, then took a comparative religion class at Stanford. When he heard the words “Many cultures have a resurrection myth” his faith went kablooey.
Jane&imChristian: You need to distinguish between ignorance and non-belief.
Colonel Leisure: You remind me of something that (i think) C S Lewis said: “When I became a man I put off childish things, including the fear of being thought childish.”
Uncle Roger: You need to distinguish between legal rights and moral rights. By the way, the First Amendment doesn’t actually say “the gov needs to stay out of the whole fairy tale business”; as written, it forbids FedGov to establish or disestablish any churches – the last state churches weren’t disestablished until a generation later. — Be fair, wolves would likely leave some bones behind.
pzdummy: Do you happen to know what drugs (other than faith) this “Nostradamus” favors?
John The Geologist: Blasphemy? Huh?
Jesus wasn’t just crucified. Jesus inherited God’s heart, which is the greatest sacrifice any human can make. To inherit God’s heart is to love as God loves and feel as God feels. God, as the creator and master of the universe, is everywhere, so whenever we feel pain(physical or emotional), He feels is just as keenly. On the other hand, God is our parent, so when we feel pain he not only feels is directly as if He was feeling it Himself, but He feels it indirectly as a parent would. When Jesus saw all the faces and actions of all the sinners of all the sinners(all human beings) who ever existed, he felt their pain both as they would themselves and as God does as our parent watching give and receive so much suffering.
So my belief is that while Jesus’ physical suffering at his crucification was horrific, it wasn’t much worse than others before and after them. You know, they still do it today some places, such as Cameroon on the west coast of Africa. His real sacrifice was to inherit God’s heart and feel the same pain and sorrow that God feels every moment a single human suffers.
Unlikely.
“His real sacrifice was to inherit Gods heart and feel the same pain and sorrow that God feels every moment a single human suffers.”
A large part of human suffering was directly inflicted by this same god. If god feels so bad about it, why doesn’t he do something about it?
A bit more than three hours, I think. More like 12 surely? The point still stands regardless of the duration, though. Wasn’t Jesus supposed to have experienced super-omni-sin-based suffering, though? The other counter to it is the notion of free will. People have the power to stop suffering and other evil, but don’t. If God just stepped in and cleared up the mess, people wouldn’t have free will. That then begs the question of why it’s important (and if it exists and in what sense).
I’m a religious person, and I wonder if there are more “believers” who like to read this strip. I personally find those strips clever, most of the time, and sometimes funny. It makes a good analizis about people’s beliefs, and how they think their beliefs are so true and so simple, just because they believe on them. However, I dislike how it sometimes, rarelly, the author is not trying to show the inherent contractions of a religious system, or to analise them… sometimes the author only try to offend the religious figures, and I don’t see the point of it… I find it useless, silly, and yes, disrespectful without a good reason. I’m not talkin of this strip in particular… but about others, like the one of the elevator and the Holy Spirit, the one of the seagul or the one of the sperm… what was the point of them, anyway? they make an interesting remark on the religious beliefs of christians or muslims? I don’t think so, and I think the author could avoid such material, without loosing its touch and popularity. It’s not neccesary to be so rednecky.