One of the earlier J&Ms. Merry Christmas!

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Discussion (78)¬

  1. Joe+Martin says:

    PBUM? Peace be upon me?

  2. FF says:

    PBUM / Peace Be Upon Muhammed/Me

  3. tfkreference says:

    Just back from midnight mass (don’t ask why), enjoying some Irish whiskey, and now some J&M to further cleanse my brain.


  4. tfkreference says:

    Yes, “what would I do” and “peace be upon me” (with a less than respectful – yet hilarious – acronym for the latter).

  5. HaggisForBrains says:

    Merry Christmas and a Cool Yule, to one and all.

  6. Michael says:

    An oldie but a goodie.

  7. Glen says:

    “Pig’s bum” is a favourite exclamation of my father’s, so that’s how I’ve always read PBUM.

  8. ‘Tis the season that’s the reason!

  9. machigai says:

    Merry Happy Joy, etc. to all!

  10. Nassar+Ben+Houdja says:

    Tee shirts, make a statement, something clever they say
    Usually smarter than who’s wearing them, in one way
    A bit of a poster if the shirt fits.
    Gets attention if displayed below a nice pair of tits.
    Something to think about… really, the word play.

  11. Nassar+Ben+Houdja says:

    The first attempt didn’t go through, possibly to risqué.
    What could have it been, possibly something I say?
    O well in keeping with the season
    However you celebrate it with or without a reason.
    Merry Christmas to all and nice please do play.

  12. John M says:


    It’s because of the “+” signs in your moniker, so it goes off for moderation as though it were a new commenter.

  13. jean-françois gauthier says:

    nice one, author. i love that mo wants to return it.
    @john and @nbh, somehow the space in my name got turned into a plus sign. merry christmas all!

  14. Lewis+R.+Lowden,+DAV says:

    I’m new at this so question – WWID = What Would I (Jesus Do (correct?), however what is the acronym PBUM translate into? Thanks and Be Well and Prosper.

  15. Lewis+R.+Lowden,+DAV says:

    No reply required. Found the answer to my question above.
    Now can/would someone – in 25 words or less – please explain the meaning and/or duplicity of giving this T shirt to Mo? Thanks.

  16. Merry Christmas one and all. I’ve been having a delightful family time, and wish the whole world could feel as happy and serene as I feel right now. NBH thanks and the same to you. And PBUA (Peace Be Unto Author).

  17. Mary2 says:

    Nassar, Two posts for one comic! First time in years. It must be Christmas … 😉

  18. Chiefy says:

    The system tricked Nassar into a second post, which is awesome! His second post was better, anyway. It’s the most personal one I’ve seen from him.

    Merry Christmyth, all!

  19. Chiefy, I love the Christmyth play on words. I’ve stolen it already. Thanks.

  20. John M says:

    Now Christmyth is over (Thanks, @Chiefy), we can get going with the next festivity.

    Happy New Year everyone – if you’re on a Julian calendar, that is. But please don’t drink and drive, because it’s always possible I may be on that same road at that same time.

    Jewish, Muslimish and etceterish readers may also accept these greetings as they see fit. I’ll try and remember to renew these wishes when your year rolls over.

  21. omg says:

    A full site dedicated to Christmyth: http://www.pocm.info/ .

    Happy Mythtime everybody.

  22. omg says:

    My last post did not showed up…
    This sit is full of Christmyth : http://www.pocm.info/

  23. omg says:

    My two last post are still in the limbo…

  24. Jobrag says:

    I hope that they bought something for the barmaid.

  25. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Pour Bombs Upon Mecca? (Than one’s for hotrats).

    Nassar, you’re spoiling us now, and with two of the best you’ve written for a long time. And a Merry Christmas to you too.

    Michael, I’ve been meaning to ask for ages; is your avatar that 700,000 light-years-wide spiral formation of about a trillion! stars known as M101, the Pinwheel Galaxy?

    Chiefy, Christmyth is genius, thanks. I’ve oft thought that Easter Sunday should have been called Christmas Day since with just a small variation in pronunciation it becomes ‘Christ must die’.

  26. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Oops, didn’t close the bold html.

    Author, what the bloody hell is going off with all these ‘+’ symbols cropping up in our usernames?

  27. JohnM says:

    Ultra-slow connection times, missing posts, plus signs in names where there should be spaces. Are the bad guys attacking our beloved oracle’s website?

  28. JohnM says:

    I should have added – ‘site doesn’t redirect after posting a comment’. I open a new tab in the browser, navigate to J&M and see there that my post has gone through.

  29. hotrats says:

    Pour Bombs Upon Mecca? (Than one’s for hotrats).

    Now now, you know I was playing ‘Devils Advocaat’ in that post. It’s unfair of you to represent me as the sort of person who would want to ‘pour bombs on Mecca’. I mean really, Mecca’s not very big. One bomb would be plenty.*

    *reluctant PC disclaimer for the terminally literal-minded: only joking.

  30. Chiefy says:

    Thanks for the link, omg. Nice one. Now we can start focusing our gentle barbs on Easter. Here’s an irreverent take on the term “resurrection”: http://youtu.be/o0_R_x-WJ5U

  31. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    hotrats, it’ll take more than just the one bomb for all of those bingo halls. 🙂

  32. JohnM says:

    Badly O/T but urgently needs saying:

    We think we have it bad, putting up with daily nonsense from wackaloon religiots in our news feed and on our TVs. So spare a thought for one of us whose life is now on the line – Raif Badawy faces execution by beheading from the insane state (quote Pat Condell) of Saudi Arabia. His crime was like one of those crimes listed by Rowan Atkinson in the Not the Nine O’Clock News sketch “Constable Savage”. Yup, he blogged about the failings of his dear rulers, which amounts to apostasy in SA apparently. There is a petition out from Care2 but nothing yet from Avaaz

    As a former dhimmi (PZMyers thinks this word is racist, but it isn’t), and teacher to Saudi Air Force cadets, I can tell you there is nothing wrong with the young people of that country apart from the state-applied, free-of-charge brain-washing they receive from cradle to grave. And the I’m proud to remember that for all of them I was happy to call them – ‘Friend’.

  33. two+cents'+worth says:

    JohnM, thanks for the link to the Care2 petition (which now has over 9,000 signatures, including mine). Given your experience in Saudia, what do you think are the chances that the petition will have the desired effect? How much does the Saudi government care about the opinions of outsiders?

  34. two cents' worth says:

    Back to the cartoon. . .

    Don we now our gay apparel? 🙂

    At least they got something useful. J & M can console themselves with the thought that their T-shirts can be worn year-round (unlike the Christmas sweaters some of us have received). If they’d rather not have their T-shirts seen in public, they can wear them as undershirts, or as pajama tops. It could have been worse–they could have gotten a brick disguised as a fruitcake!

    (No offense to fruitcake lovers–I’ve tasted some delicious fruitcakes myself!–but fruitcakes tend to be re-gifted so often that the final recipient ends up with something best used as a paperweight or doorstop.)

  35. two cents' worth says:

    JohnM, thanks for the link to the Care2 petition (which now has over 9,000 signatures, including mine). Given your experience in Saudi Arabia, do you think the petition will have the desired effect? How much is the Saudi government influenced by the opinions of outsiders?

    Sorry if this is double-posted!

  36. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    two cents’ worth says:
    December 27, 2013 at 4:01 am
    [……..]How much is the Saudi government influenced by the opinions of outsiders?

    Nowhere near as much as the opinion of outside (Western) governments is influenced by oil reserves. As far as our leaders are concerned the value of a single life has to be weighed against billions of barrels of black gold.
    Sadly, we are desperately addicted to oil, and as any serious addict would sell his granny to ensure the next fix, it doesn’t look good for Mr. Badaway.

  37. JohnM says:

    When I was in Saudi, the air force was being run by puppet strings from BAC (now Brit. Aerospace) Today they can probably manage it themselves. Outsiders, especially infidel outsiders, are unlikely to have any direct influence. But if we could stop our governments cosying up to them, withdrawing supplies of stuff they can’t make themselves (that’s pretty much everything), then the house of cards Saud would not last very long. But as AoS has observed, there’s no chance of that from our liver-lilied, yellow-bellied masters in Westminster and Washington.

  38. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    JohnM, liver-lilied? Lily-livered, shirley?

  39. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    What’s got four legs and says ‘Boo’?
    A cow with a cold!

  40. Chiefy says:

    AoS, “shirley”? Surely, surely.

    I can’t wait to tell your joke to my granddaughters.

  41. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    Chiefy, have you not seen Lloyd “Don’t call me Shirley” Bridges in Airplane?

  42. IanB says:

    JohnM says “then the house of cards Saud would not last very long. But as AoS has observed, there’s no chance of that from our liver-lilied, yellow-bellied masters in Westminster and Washington.”

    The problem with toppling the despicable house of saud is what guarantee is there that the replacement will be any more palatable. Certainly the situation in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Egypt, Syria et al should give one pause for thought.

  43. JohnM says:

    It was just an spinadvertent oonerism, or something remantically selated.

  44. Chiefy says:

    One of my favorite movies, AoS, but I couldn’t resist the chance to use a triple Shirley. Hey, that sounds like a drink, doesn’t it? Barkeep!

    Maybe it is “liver-lilied.” It makes as much sense.

  45. hotrats says:

    We coud spare at least the Mecca Ballroom in Bristol, where in 1972 or so I saw one of the first gigs by Roxy Music, playing through their first album plus ‘Virginia Plain’, Eno in eyeliner and feather boa, Ferry in a goldy tigerstripe jacket and Brylcreamed quiff (or is it coiffe?). They were the support act for the then-momentarily-famous Hawkwind, whose musical credibility did not survive the direct comparison.

    Here’s another nice triple from Jimmy Carr (from ‘The Big Fat Quiz of the Year’):
    ‘Tin tin tin’ is Yorkshire for “it isn’t in the tin”; “t’in’t int’ tin”

  46. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    hotrats, it’s too late to prevent Slave to Love now anyway, so yes, you can keep the Bristol Mecca.

  47. omg says:

    I know, I’m off topic…
    Just read an article about Dean Saxton promoting the rape of women. I don’t know if he get raped by a few strong men, if he will find he deserved it… :

  48. JohnnieCanuck says:

    Just in case anyone actually wants to know where the PBUM comes from, the usual expression is ‘Mohammed; Praise Be Upon Him (pbuh)’, which of course becomes
    ‘Praise Be Upon Me’.

    Not only can I not tell jokes, but I spoil them for others by explaining them.

  49. LirrelFatJohn says:

    JohnnieCanuck: (explains the “PBUM” joke).

    I wondered if it would have been funny had Josh given Mo’ a shirt printed with “p.b.u.H.” and an arrow pointing at Josh? (The apitalisation is important for the mockery to work.)

    And now that we’ve had a swipe at KissyMiss Day (which I rather like) will we get two in January gently mocking Mo’s Mawlids? (Jezziss, but that sounds rather risqué.)

    omg : could one, after reading the page you linked to and investigating the sad bastard gentleman it refers to, take the stance that wiping him from the face of the planet, reducing him to compost would be a socially acceptable Christian gesture as “he was asking for it”?

  50. Len says:

    @ JohnnieCanuck
    pbuh sounds a lot like FUBAR with the right accent 🙂

    And best wishes to all as we try to remember to sign things with 2014 instead of 2013.

  51. Jerry w says:

    Actually, I do have a “WWJD?” t-shirt.
    This seems appropriate since my name is Jerry and people will often ask me what I would do if I was in their situation.

  52. Chiefy says:

    That seems appropriate, Jerry. I have jammies with “WWSD”. What would Scooby Doo.

  53. hotrats says:

    Right, just when you have got used to it being 2013 instead of 2012, they have to go and change it again… A Happy New Year to all, or as they say here in Germany, “Good slip” (gute Rutsch). No, I don’t get it either.

  54. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    hotrats, I suppose if the Americans can call Autumn ‘Fall’ because of the leaves, the Germans can call New Year ‘slip’ because of the icy conditions.

  55. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    The German ex-racing driver Michael Schumacher’s off-piste Rutsch wasn’t exactly gute. While I wish him well I will never understand the attraction of hurtling down a snow- and ice-covered mountain on a pair of sticks, at speeds approaching 100mph and with no brakes.

  56. Jerry+w says:

    A.O.S., I agree and feel the same way about skydiving and Olympic running events. Why would anyone jump out of a plane that’s not on fire or run when no one is chasing you with a knife?

  57. Jerryw says:

    Hmm, message disappeared… So redoing my name without the +’s,

    A.O.S., I agree 100%, but would add skydiving and Olympic running events. After all, why would I want to jump out of a plane that’s not on fire, or run like crazy if no one’s chasing me with a knife.

  58. Jerryw says:

    Hmm, post again vanished… 3rd and final attempt, sorry for multiple posts if this appears later,

    A.O.S., I agree 100%, but I would add skydiving and Olympic running events. After all, why would I want to jump out of a plane if it’s not on fire, or run like crazy when no one’s chasing me with a knife.

  59. omg says:

    I think there is a big difference between skiing in the pistes where it is mostly safe (if you follow some safety rules) and going off-piste where you increase the chance to have an accident that could be fatal. Just my two cents.

  60. botanist says:

    Have a Very Happy 2014 my friends. See you here after the hangover has gone 🙂

  61. botanist says:

    Oh Author – your clock is still 1 hr wrong, for UK time 🙂

  62. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    It’s right for half the year, botanist.

    Happy New Year, all.

  63. omg says:

    Happy 2014 all

  64. Mary2 says:

    Happy New Year for the arbitrarily declared end/beginning of a year from the arbitrarily declared 2013 to the equally arbitrary 2014.

    May every one of your years be both happy and peaceful!

  65. HaggisForBrains says:

    Happy New Year.

  66. machigai says:

    Happy New Year!

  67. machigai says:

    No, really.
    Happy New Year.

  68. i might was well chime in too, just to keep up my status as a regular. Happy New Year all you wonderful people. My 2014 be a great year for you. It’s already started well for me. Checked my bank account this morning and found a back payment from my Old Age Security that made my day. May you all be so fortunate.

  69. two cents' worth says:

    AoS and JohnM, thanks for your replies. It’s likely that my signing the online petition to free Raif Badawy did more to help me feel as if I were doing something than it did to help Mr. Badawy :-/ .

    Omg, thanks for the link to the article about Dean Saxton. As Austin Cline points out, “We are reminded that [people who share Saxton’s opinion about rape] really exist and we are forced to remind others why these people are wrong.”

    Maybe when I retire (many years from now, unfortunately!) I can study rhetoric/communications and learn how to successfully persuade people like the Saudis and Saxton to become more humane. Until then, I can only respond as best I know how, and take comfort in something Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”

  70. two cents' worth says:

    On a more optimistic note, I surfed around a bit after reading the article about Saxton, and stumbled upon another off-topic, but happier, article at http://freethinker.co.uk/2008/11/08/how-an-amazonian-tribe-turned-a-missionary-into-an-atheist/ . This article made me smile, which is a great way to kick off the new year. As one of the comments on that Web page put it, “Long live the Pirahãs!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  71. two cents' worth says:

    This is also OT, but AoS’s joke reminded me that I recently read one that others here in the pub might enjoy: “A statistician gave birth to twins, but only had one of them baptised. She kept the other as a control.”

    For more such esoteric jokes, see http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/dec/29/scientists-favourite-jokes . (This Web site was recommended to me by a fellow USAlien who is now an ex-pat living in Bath, UK. I can’t remember who in the pub coined the term “USAlien,” but I’m using the term because my friend and I have been considered a bit alien by others in the US 😉 .)

  72. omg says:

    two cents’ worth,
    I hope from the bottom of my heart that the Pirahãs will live long without being corrupted by us.

    It break my heart to ear that people are sent to the Amazonian to teach them stupid religion belief.

  73. omg says:

    two cents’ worth, from your link:
    A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others’ copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says “the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!”

  74. hotrats says:

    A man is on his first visit to Boston, and he wants to try some of that delicious New England seafood that he’s long heard about. So he gets into a cab, and asks the driver,
    “Can you take me to where I can get scrod?” The driver replies,
    “I’ve heard that question a thousand time, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive.”

  75. JohnM says:

    @two cents’ worth
    Don’t underestimate the power of the online petition. When Avaaz, for example, sends one of the bad guys a million signature demand, they understand that at least that many people are looking over their shoulder. Pissing off one or two or even a couple of dozen people is likely quite harmless, but when the numbers start to resemble those of the proverbial telephone, one might just worry a little bit. Ceau?escu, Qadaffi, Benali, Mubarak didn’t do too well once the numbers began to stack up.

  76. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Jeez, hotrats. I’m beginning to suspect that you’re an English teacher. 🙂

  77. Acolyte+of+Sagan says:

    An altar boy rushes into the rectory and tells the priest ‘A man just hobbled into the church on crutches. He splashed some holy water from the font onto his legs, said a prayer, and threw his crutches away!’
    ‘You might just have witnessed a miracle’ says the priest. ‘I must speak to that man, where is he now?’
    ‘He’s still in the church’ says the boy, ‘lying on his back by the font’.


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