stir

September 9th, 2015

It’s the best method He could come up with at the time.

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Discussion (29)¬

  1. cat-dancing says:
    September 9, 2015 at 11:54 am

    At least he has become modern enough to use a mobile. He’s no longer relying completely on word-of-mouth.
    But isn’t that a little hypocritical and inconsistent?

  2. Killing joker says:
    September 9, 2015 at 11:57 am

    Great stuff, my fav so far. Reminds me of a bit by the great Bill Hicks-” why do aliens fly across the universe to earth and then instead of landing on the white house lawn, or contact scientists, thay appear in a field in the deep south to a bunch of hill billys, hmmm makes you wonder..”

  3. cat-dancing says:
    September 9, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    Meanwhile, in the real world. Bless.

  4. MarquisDeMoo says:
    September 9, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    The sad thing is that given the jealousy between sects the Camel Trader would just as likely be strung up for blasphemy.

  5. plainsuch says:
    September 9, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    It worked before. Mo used to sell camels, previously owned by newly deceased caravan travelers. He got the word out.

  6. Ophelia+Benson says:
    September 9, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    Another good example – the sword given to Arthur by the bint in the pond (as Monty Python put it).

    Or, because I just saw Dr Strangelove again, like making a Doomsday Machine but then keeping it a secret. Dr S says to the Russian ambassador – “But ze whole point of ze machine is lost if you keep it a secret WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ZE WORLD?”

  7. Shaughn says:
    September 9, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Re what cat-dancing ss:

    Al-Izbeth al Akhbar, J&M save the Queen!

  8. Nassar+Ben+Houdja says:
    September 9, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    When will people learn
    Like ” Godot” waiting for him to return
    Is trivial manipulation
    To exploit a situation
    The naive suckers never learn.

  9. white+squirrel says:
    September 9, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    but is not the ‘second coming’ supposedly ‘a return like a thief in the night’
    suggesting any such ‘return’ would have no prior indicators/omens.

    also if ‘god’ is everywhere and jesus is ‘god’ doesnt that mean he is already back/never left?

  10. Darwin Harmless says:
    September 9, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Hi folks. I think I shall lurk for a while, unless I actually have something to say, other than heaping praise on our dear Author, of course. So don’t worry if you don’t hear from me. I’m fine. life is good and very full. Cheers mates.

  11. white+squirrel says:
    September 9, 2015 at 10:52 pm

    I have 3 questions re ‘second coming/judgement day’

    1 how does ‘god’ benefit?

    2 what purpose is served

    3 babies/embryoes have lives cut short/dont get a full lifetime to prove their worthiness – so how would that work?

  12. Shaughn says:
    September 10, 2015 at 7:15 am

    1 ‘god’ gets more praise and cheers.
    2 that’s the purpose: more praise and cheers for ‘god’.
    3 no need for work as long as they cheer and praise ‘god’.

  13. Matt says:
    September 10, 2015 at 8:57 am

    Mo mis-dialed – he got me instead, so I’ve received the joyous news! Oh happy day, spread the word – Jesus is back! And given this wondrous revelation none can now doubt the truth of Christianity… er, Islam… er…

    Anyway, I’m off home now to dispose of all my wordly wealth and possessions. Does anyone know any organisations that might be interested?

  14. white+squirrel says:
    September 10, 2015 at 9:56 am

    ‘second coming as important to islam as to xiantity’
    how so ?
    if Mo was ‘the last ever prophet’ as Islam claims then jesus cannot return cos then there would be another ‘prophet’ after Mo.
    Why not a second coming of Mo?
    is jesus greater than Mo to Islam?

  15. cat-dancing says:
    September 10, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Matt, old chum, my dear, dear friend, so long as you are ever so generously giving things away … I could do with all of your savings, current accounts, pension funds and other liquidities.
    Indeed, if there are any Jove’s Witless types around …

    It’s not for me. I have this friend. She’s retired and she has this interest-only mortgage to pay off fairly soon.
    Though that may not be an issue if Jess Carpenter is back. Doesn’t “The Second Coming” cancel all debts?
    I wonder if her bank would accept that as an excuse?

  16. The world's tallest dwarf says:
    September 11, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    I bet he had the right hump.

  17. Henry+Ford says:
    September 13, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    Cat dancing: damn, beat me to it. Sigh……

  18. white+squirrel says:
    September 14, 2015 at 11:21 am

    suppose J or M did actually ‘come back’ would it not just create another schism for the faithful to kill each other with

  19. Shaughn says:
    September 14, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Wasn’t Mo some sort of camel trader before he got into the prophecy business?

  20. Robert+Andrews says:
    September 15, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    What propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels said is true: “tell a big lie over and over again. Tie it together with small lies and some truths–some which are provable–and people will eventually come to believe it.

    They did this in a few years. Religion has had-in most cases-hundreds and thousands of years. And now they have modern technology.

    “Christianity: one womens lie about having an affair that got way out of hand”–Atheist Empire

  21. joe3eagles says:
    September 15, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    I guess Panthera got more than he bargained for when he boinked that cute Galilean chick behind the aqueduct.

  22. cat-dancing says:
    September 16, 2015 at 7:39 am

    White Squirrel, Mr. Mo isn’t scheduled to return. So far as I know, and I’m willing to be corrected in this as I’ve never read his little bookie in the original Arabic due to my Arabic being almost so good as Mo’s Korean, there is no prophecy about him coming back. It is, however, mentioned in Jesse’s little collection of whoppers that he will re-visit.
    This isn’t actually a problem for the Islamics. Mr. Carpenter isn’t a new prophet with a new message, merely a returnee spouting the same old rubbish that the lovely Mo’ has already clarified and expanded upon.
    Now, little Jimmy Jones, the lovely Mr. Moon and whomever started the Heaven’s Gate delusions are problematic. As would be the wonderful and very truthful Mr. Smith of L.D.S. fame were the Muslims to consider him.
    But none of that lot are pencilled in for a second try so they can generally be politely ignored.

    Nor would the second orgasm cause any new schisms. Indeed it should reverse the curse of Babylon and eradicate all schisms.
    It is supposed to take everyone to the Grand Hotel in the sky, even those formerly condemned to eternal burnies. It does mention in one or two of the biblical tracts that the gates of Hell will be ripped asunder. (Quite the little vandal is our Mr. Carpenter, Junior, isn’t he?)
    So, we’ll all be in the one schism and it will be little Jesse Carpenter’s.

    Isn’t that nice?

    An aside: Jeff, the deity of the little meat-puppet farm in the Middle-East, is supposed to be the Man With The Plan. It is supposed to be an ineluctable modality and an infallible instrumentality.
    Sort of like a FiveYearPlan, only more fixed.
    Which does bring up the obvious questions: why did Jeff scrub The Plan and do a reset in the Days of Rain and Noah? Why did Jeff scrub The Perfect Plan and do a reset when he sent Jesse to do his little dance? Jeff did, after all, use Jesse to tell us that all our sins were forgiven, but those sins were part of The Plan so they should not have been. Unless Big Jeff was lying to everyone again? And how can Jeff the Fabulist void the Big Babylon Curse and the Eternal Condemnation Of The Heretics when Jeff, Junior returns when those were Big Deals and essential parts of The Perfect Plan?
    Jeff the Confessed Rapist, for so ineffable and perfect an entity, does seem to be just a touch on the waffly, vacillatingly undecided side at times.
    It’s almost as though someone was making all this stuff up as he went along …

  23. cat-dancing says:
    September 16, 2015 at 7:54 am

    Mr. Andrews, Herr Goebbels wea an idiot and also quite insular and very poor of thinking for such a smart man.
    The Big Lie does work, but only if and when there is no small truth to set beside it and to contradict it.
    The Internet is the logical and practical reification of the complete opposite of the Big Lie. It was set up to allow anyone with information to help anyone with a question. To enable anyone with a solution to help anyone with a problem. To pass on information. To contradict errors, falsehoods, misinterpretations, bad programming and other untruths. To tell the truth and spread the facts.
    Which is why the entire legislative and executive bodies of the world hate it. 🙂
    Goebbels’s Big Lie can only work when there is no such thing as opposition. When the Lie is the only word one hears.
    It only works when the wealthy and the powerful are the only people with a voice.
    The Internet is our voice and that is why it must never be censored and must never be spied upon. Internet privacy is an essential human right and the NSA, GCHQ and all their little army of friends must be stopped.
    Or someday this site will be hammered into silence.
    And Jesse Carpenter’s Big lie will be all we ever hear.

  24. cat-dancing says:
    September 16, 2015 at 7:57 am

    “…Herr Goebbels WAS an idiot …”
    Please can we have an edit function for proofing? Just a little one? 🙂

  25. white+squirrel says:
    September 16, 2015 at 9:51 am

    Please can we have an edit function for proofing?
    i’ll second that

  26. white+squirrel says:
    September 16, 2015 at 9:54 am

    not sure about calling Doc Goebbels an idiot -he was extremely astute when it came to intellect – it was wisdom and moral decency he lacked abysmally

  27. Shaughn says:
    September 16, 2015 at 10:00 am

    The internet was set up to pass on data, cat-dancing. No more, no less. That is what’s happening without regard to the meaning of data.
    Still, about 60-70% of humanity is not www-connected despite all blahdiblah about global villages.
    Don’t underestimate the power of a voice – once there was a medieval man calling out over an area as big as a soccer field. Yet he initiated the hype of centuries: pope Urban II and his call for a crusade.

  28. Tafpaddy says:
    September 16, 2015 at 11:30 am

    He’s possibly been back a few times and has either been locked up on a funny farm or given some pills, made to promise to take one every day and allowed to hang around the town annoying people

  29. Robert+Andrews says:
    September 16, 2015 at 1:24 pm

    An edit function would be good as well as spell-check.

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