They won’t try that again.

Discussion (24)¬

  1. Deimos says:

    The Koran is a very useful book, always guarantees an empty table on trains or a seat on the tube.
    Alternatively a well used bible can clear plenty of space in any pub in the land.

  2. Doug says:

    And here are some examples of Bible “morality” – “The Bible Says THAT?!”

  3. Anonymous says:

    Wonderful, and the children get the preconception from….

  4. Donn says:

    Lots of fun stuff there, Doug. Apparently the Koran isn’t the only religious document that ever suggested all the unbelievers ought to be slaughtered – right off hand, I’m not sure it even says that, as clearly as the old testament deity does.

    What particularly struck me though was human sacrifice in Judges 11:30-39. With no indication that Yahweh wouldn’t be fine with it, so it’s hard to see how it could have been just a single isolated instance. Modern commentary claims that there’s a Hebrew translation issue here, and you can tell what really happened from all the talk about virginity – he really just turned her into some kind of nun. And of course God was powerless to prevent these misunderstandings from creeping into the bible – he was probably long ago totally disgusted with the whole mess.

  5. M27Holts says:

    As pratchett surmises, gods only exist if enough people believe in them. Which is his succinct observation that the god characters are all figments of some peoples imaginations. And doug…you need to read the koran, it promulates emnity against infidels every 2nd verse (almost) every time I hear the “Religion of Peace” or the warlord mohammed (piss be upon him) was nice geezer who bought his mother flowers and treated all his wives with respect….I shake my head , no wonder I have neck muscles like s boxer….

  6. Succubus ov Satan says:

    judges 11:30 was ancient human sacrifice – However that form of murder still occurs in Riyadh – where people are executed, squarely in the name of ‘god’

  7. Donn says:

    Anyway, if you’re displaying a bible to stake out your table for yourself, it might be good to bookmark some of Doug’s choice bits, in case you’re taken for a fellow evangelical or something. I like the one about killing all the adults and male children, but keeping the girls for yourself (Numbers 31:14-18), that to me is a lot better train conversation than all the stuff about how they shall eat each others’ flesh.

  8. tfkreference says:

    In hotels (in the US where the Gideons provide bibles for guests), I sometimes dog-ear the page and circle one of those passages.

  9. Mockingbird says:

    Yep ~ Getting back to J & M, and the cartoon .. .. .. Oh, never mind .. ..

  10. Son of Glenner says:

    M27Holts: “… gods only exist if enough people believe in them …” is not only a Pratchett theme; it is also the basic idea of Neil Gaiman’s book “American Gods”, now reincarnated as a TV series. Many of us regulars at the old Cock & Bull pub have already read and enjoyed it; I thoroughly recommend it to those who have not yet read it.

  11. Laripu says:

    tfreference, about bibles in hotel rooms: I’ve heard that Gideon checked out, and left them no doubt, to help with poor Rocky’s revival. (Beatles 9:13, UK releases)

  12. Laripu says:

    Ok, I feel like I’ve squashed the conversation with Rocky Raccoon, so…
    … Preconceptions…

    I imagine that the most important preconceptions we have, the ones most difficult to overcome, come from the way our senses have become organized, due to evolution.

    Rhetorical question: How would our mindset be different if we had evolved to see infrared and also perceive smells like a dog? (My guess is that sex would be a lot more frequent, and done in public. And murder would be much rarer. Also, honesty might partly consist of showering less often.)

    In this way, our reality is shaped by how we’ve evolved to perceive our environment. That makes it hard to have a gut understanding of, for example, quantum mechanics.

    We explain in terms of what we know, using metaphor. How many centuries after we evolved language did it take for us to realize the earth wasn’t isn’t flat?

    It’s raining, so god is crying.
    There’s thunder so god is angry.
    There was a hurricane; so god did that because gay people serve in the military… alternatively, because of abortion.
    Volcanos? Subterranean gods or acne of the earth?

    What are subatomic particles? Our metaphors are “particle” and “wave”. What they are, really, is outside our experience and ability to perceive. We can’t properly understand them without mathematics, the way we can understand, say, auto mechanics, because our senses didn’t evolve to understand things like that, directly.

  13. postdoggerel says:

    Preconception is just a fancy word for foreplay.

  14. Rrr says:

    Ah, Post, I think you just cut to the chase there!

  15. M27Holts says:

    Ah foreplay? Quantum Mechanics? Possibly this is why I’m failing. My wife says her clitoris is a particle wheras I think it’s a wave!

  16. Son of Glenner says:

    M27Holts: TMI, methinks.

  17. postdoggerel says:

    Quantum physicists have the best sex. They know all the super positions.

  18. M27Holts says:

    What about quantum entanglement, shared simultaneous orgasm regardless of the distance between the partners

  19. postdoggerel says:

    M27, you mean OANism?

  20. M27Holts says:

    Onanism or Masturbation, could only be multi partner if the multiverse allows you to be linked to yourself in two or more parallel universes…

  21. postdoggerel says:

    I was referring to One America News, the doppelganger of Fox News, those wankers. But returning to the topic at hand, here is a comprehensible piece about a quantum physicist.
    A physicist sits down at a bar and orders two drinks. He places one in front of the empty seat next to him, while he slowly consumes the other. Upon finishing, he orders another drink. The bartender notices the untouched beverage and motions to it. “Something wrong with this one?” “No,” says the physicist, “that one is for my companion.” “Oh,” says the bartender. “You are expecting someone, then?” “Well, not exactly,” says the physicist. “You see,” he continues, “I study quantum mechanics, and the uncertainty principle tells us that there is always a chance, however small, that at any moment, all of the atoms in the vicinity of this stool might spontaneously rearrange themselves into the form of a real, live, beautiful woman who will find me charming, funny, and attractive, and if that does actually happen, I’m going to offer her this drink as a way to break the ice.” “Oh I see,” says the bartender. “Well, it just so happens that there is already a real, live, beautiful woman, sitting right over there, all by herself. Why don’t you offer her the drink, and maybe SHE’LL find you charming, funny, and attractive?” “Yeah, right,” says the physicist, “like THAT would ever work!”

  22. M27Holts says:

    Gufaw n chortle…

  23. Son of Glenner says:

    postdoggerel: I checked on your link and was informed that it was not available outside the United States.

    A pity – New Yorker cartoons are often very good.

    (Unlike the Jesus & Mo cartoons which are always very good!)

    (Author: Can you lend me a fiver?)


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