I’ve got the flu and cannot function. So here’s a flashback from ten years ago. Pray for me.

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Discussion (24)¬

  1. Brainsmith says:

    Perhaps you are suffering from analogy.

  2. Stuff and Nonsense says:

    Thoughts and Prayers… Thoughts & Prayers…
    Have you tried blowing a hairdryer up your nose to kill the virus ?

  3. Matthew Stannard says:

    I pray that our beloved author finds that his forced idleness leads to even greater inspiration to keep us all nourished in our spirits till kingdom come. For clarification, I use the term ‘pray’ to denote a heartfelt wish, i.e. metaphorically. The term ‘kingdom come’ is an anagram of ‘mocking mode’, so I am using an anagram as a metaphor for an analogy. Sorry to be so unclear.

  4. Suffolk Blue says:

    Brainsmith – LOL!

  5. E.A. Blair says:

    Remember – you can’t spell “analogo” withut “a-n-a-l”.

  6. E.A. Blair says:

    Typo apology – “anology”.

  7. Atanwat says:

    Back in Junior High School, I once told an adult that I didn’t really believe in God, explaining that I was an “analgesic”, and only realized my error several days later. Ooops. However, I do still believe in headaches.

  8. arbeyu says:

    Author: I would pray for you, but because I am an atheist, God might actually punish you instead of helping you.

  9. M27Holts says:

    Good Job you weren’t infected with mancunian flu, you can tell it’s mancunian because under an electron microscope you can see the pathogen has a skin head and steelies to kick the fook out of your antibodies, GMO’s are no use against such determined pathogens….

  10. Theobromine says:

    I shall light a candle for you, beloved author, if I knew how to enter a Catholic church, or whatever the ceremony is. I just got over Covid last week, fortunately I had pretty much zero symptoms. Still, a week home from work is a week home from work.

  11. Son of Glenner says:

    Author: OtterBe suggests a hot toddy, or two, as a remedy for your flu. I seem to be recognised (rightly or wrongly) as the resident whisky expert in the old Cock and Bull pub, so a word of advice! A hot toddy, or two, is an excellent suggestion, but don’t waste a highly regarded (and expensive) single malt scotch whisky for toddy. A cheap popular blend, or supermarket own brand, will be just as effective – or not.
    Perhaps your Patreon patrons could start up a special Author Whisky Fund.

  12. Bvereshagen says:

    I will sacrifice a virgin and ravish a goat to speed your recovery. I may have that backwards.

  13. paradoctor says:

    It’s metaphorically a metaphor for itself.
    No, that’s nonsense. Really it’s metaphorically a metaphor for a metaphor for itself.
    Rinse, lather, repeat to infinity.

  14. M27Holts says:

    A hod Toddy eh? Cheap whisky or Brandy does the trick, though a good sluice of Navy Rum is probably best…

  15. M27Holts says:

    Gets the little blighters pissed, so they can’t lace up their steelies…see innit…

  16. sam huff says:

    Everclear or reagent grade alcohol with mixer of choice (avoid sugar if possible) works well and if doesn’t you won’t care.

  17. samhuff says:

    Everclear or reagent grade alcohol with mixer of choice (avoid sugar if possible) works well and if doesn’t you won’t care.

  18. samhuff says:


    Is ravaging a virgin mean taking her (or his etcetera) virginity?

  19. M27Holts says:

    Ravishing is a euphemism for “Raping”…

  20. postdoggerel says:

    Dear Author, please do recover from your flu. Get off your feet. Get some rest; I’m sending cots and chairs for you.

  21. OtterBe says:

    As SoG says, don’t squander your top shelf tipple on a hot toddy: savor that in good health with your senses fully functional.

    So, I awoke this morning feverish and with a sore throat. As I can’t drink, I used a recipe from A Child’s Garden of Grass (now reprinted, I see—and available on Amazon) for a Honey Slide: brown a level tablespoon (book says 2, but weed is way stronger than 50 years ago) of well-cleaned weed in non-stick pan on medium-low, stirring quickly until it darkens & you just start getting whisks of smoke from it. Quickly remove from heat, then grind in mortar & pestle. Mix with a tablespoon of unpasteurized local honey, and swallow. Not a cure—but you ain’t care 😉

    Feverish reading recommendation: 1601 by Mark Twain on Project Gutenberg. Perhaps not for those with delicate sensibilities, but I think you folk will enjoy it as much as I did. >remember that ‘y’ at the beginning back then was the ‘th’ sound, so ye -> the & yt is not yeet, but ‘that’.

    Shit: I’m up to 101.7. Time for another slide and bed.

    Be well, y’all

  22. Son of Glenner says:

    OtterBe: What’s 101.7? Blood Pressure? Heart rate? Pulse? Weight in pounds? Body mass in kg? Temperature in Fahrenheit? If it’s temperature in Celsius, you’re in a very bad way!

  23. OtterBe says:


    Shame on me: numbers are no help without specifying what they represent. In this case, that’s my estimate of the liters of phlegm brought forth to that point. Still reading Mark Twain, so inclined to be even more chatty than usual, but I’ll spare y’all the gory details in case someone over there checks in on J&M during their elevenses: were I explicit, all appetite would flee in disgust.

  24. M27Holts says:



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