Here’s an old one from 5 years ago, resurrected to celebrate this good day.

Of course, Mo doesn’t believe Jesus was crucified. He’s just taking the piss.

Discussion (40)¬

  1. Worth visiting, Author. One of your classics. Now let’s all send the kids out into the woods to have sex, the original meaning of Easter.

  2. Mary2 on the previous thread, I’m exceeding gruntled that even a rabid femo-Nazi could fall for my doctor and son story. It is to laugh. 🙂

  3. Andrew Hall says:

    Sometimes I wonder how many Christian kids think Jesus crapped chocolate eggs?

  4. Tomas (the doubter) says:

    This one of the best!

  5. Algolei says:

    I’m gonna need to see him get up on Sunday before I believe it.

  6. NoAstronomer says:

    “I’m not getting up till Sunday”


    and yes we are going to need to see that before we believe it.

  7. You esteemed author has probably condemned me to an eternity in hell-fire, following the events of this morning. I was sitting quietly in front of my PC, contemplating Christ’s sacrifice for us poor sinners, when notification of a tweet popped up. Upon reading it turned about to be from the author, re-cycling the above abomination. Upon reading, the Devil did enter my soul and cause me to write the following article and thus condemn my soul. If the Author thinks now, I will ever buy one of his poor quality mugs, he is very much mistaken.

  8. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Every one of Mo’s lines is brilliant, but I particularly like the ‘symbolic’ non-extinguishing candle.
    I can’t help but wonder; after Jesus gets up on Sunday, will his image have been magically seared into the quilt? And if so, will we be seeing the Edinburgh Duvet on ebay any time soon?

    EinsteinsGhost says:
    March 29, 2013 at 1:19 pm
    You esteemed author has probably condemned me to an eternity in hell-fire

    Don’t blame Author; you were already in Hell on the Isle of Wight long before you came across J&M. 🙂

  9. Nassar Ben Houdja says:

    A four day weekend
    To celebrate religious history
    Too early, wait for better weather.

  10. Alan Bombria says:

    It may be 5 yers old, but this is one of the best J and M’s ever!

  11. machigai says:

    Really, truly a classic.

    What exactly is NBH doing?
    It’s not haiku…

  12. Chris Phoenix says:

    If Jesus comes out of the cave and sees his shadow, we’ll have six more weeks of winter.

  13. and sees his shadow…
    I love that joke. I always tell it a few times this time of year. In a similar vein I like to (intentionally) mix up the formula for a cockatrice with the formula for Easter. Cockatrice- Rooster lays an egg at midnight that incubates in the dung heap of a lizard. Easter – first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. Cockatrice and Jesus- both mythical creatures found in the bible both with weird formulas. The difference being that one of them is really silly … and the other one is a cockatrice.

  14. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    FKS, so where does the Phoenix fit into this (and please don’t say ‘by the time I get there she’ll be rising’)?
    Or is that a different resurrection legend?

  15. MarkyWarky says:

    Always a classic Author.

    Can someone enlighten me with regard to the “sees his shadow” joke please? I’ve not heard that one 🙂

  16. hotrats says:

    You must be one of the few people alive who has not seen the movie ‘Groundhog Day’. This is a reference to Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog resident of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. On February 2 of each year, the town celebrates the beloved groundhog with a festive atmosphere of music and food. During the ceremony, Phil emerges from his temporary home on the unlikely-named Gobbler’s Knob, located in a rural area just outside the town. If Phil ‘sees his own shadow’ as communicated to his handlers, then winter will last 6 weeks longer. Charming though the tradition is, examination of the records held since 1887 show that his predictive accuracy is under 40%, so tossing a coin would give better results.

  17. MarkyWarky says:

    Cheers Hotrats. I have seen Groundhog Day, but must have been half asleep because I didn’t understand any of it! Maybe it’s because I didn’t realise it was based on a real custom, what with it not being one in the UK.

    Comments added to the previous thread.


    For those who don’t do twitter…above link was just posted by esteemed author and billed as “….most clueless anti-atheist screed this year”

    PS. What’s “Screed?”

  19. Ah! Screed! “Dead boring piece of writing” Doh!!! How embarrassing! I’ve been writing ‘Screed’ for years!

  20. botanist says:

    Not on your website you haven’t EG. Your posts are certainly not ‘screeds’ :-).
    I looked back at the ‘5 years ago’ version of this comic. None of the ‘Meanderthals’ are familiar to me, and the comments don’t seem to have the same wit and humour.
    btw – it’s Sunday – anyone have any sightings to report?

  21. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    botanist says:
    March 31, 2013 at 10:02 am
    [……]btw – it’s Sunday – anyone have any sightings to report?

    Yes, I saw a big pink rabbit rushing down the street carrying a huge basket of choccy, but I guess that’s not the kind of sighting you mean.

    Here’s a thought; whay do the Christians insist Jesus is coming back? He was nailed to a cross, not a fucking boomerang 🙂

  22. hotrats says:

    In Greece about this time of year (quite often with different dates for Easter itself because of Orthodoxy) the daily greeting ‘Kali mera’ (Good day) becomes ‘Kristos Anesti’ (Christ is risen) to which one is supposed to reply ‘Veveios Anesti’ (Truly risen).

    For the benefit of future visitors to that failed state, I discovered that replying, ‘Just give me my fucking change, please’ worked just as well.

  23. Joolz says:

    I’m sometimes a little disappointed when I see the ***2 pop up in my RSS feed because I read all the J&M strips a year or so ago – but this one did not disappoint at all. I’m just happy I didn’t have a mouthful of tea when I read it because my netbook keyboard doesn’t like being sprayed with tea!

  24. WalterWalcarpit says:

    Botanist, no sightings to report but I have just recovered from an extensive bout of hiccups … Not a lot of people know that.

  25. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    hotrats says:
    March 31, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    In Greece about this time of year […] the daily greeting ‘Kali mera’ (Good day) becomes ‘Kristos Anesti’ (Christ is risen) to which one is supposed to reply ‘Veveios Anesti’ (Truly risen).

    And therein lies the slogan for Viagara’s next Grecian advertising campaign:
    Phallus Anesti;Veveios Anesti

  26. botanist says:

    And what, Walter, is your preferred hiccup remedy??

  27. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Just seen this on ftb; Guess what Ray Comfort thought ‘bibliophile’ meant”

  28. hotrats says:

    Very good, except your keyboard is playing up again; it should be Viagra, Greek and Fallos, not Viagara (Viagara Falls?), Grecian (style of architecture) and Phallus (Latin).

  29. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Hands up for ‘phallus’ and Viagara. Though in my defence, I’ve never seen a Viagra label so the spelling was an assumption, and aside from a smattering of French and the occasional Latin phrase, I’m no multi-linguist.

    Grecian [?gri???n]
    (Fine Arts & Visual Arts / Art Terms) (esp of beauty or architecture) conforming to Greek ideals, esp in being classically simple
    (Social Science / Education) a scholar of or expert in the Greek language or literature
    adj & n
    (Linguistics / Languages) (Social Science / Peoples) another word for Greek
    Adj. 1. Grecian – of or relating to or characteristic of Greece or the Greeks or the Greek language; “Greek mythology”; “a Grecian robe”


  30. hotrats says:

    I fear the free online dictionary is just following the modern dictionary trend of recording use and misuse without comment. English has only one true synonym pair, ‘gorse’ and ‘furze’, and wherever else there are two words, the meanings diverge. ‘Grecian’ (as distinct from ‘Greek’) refers to ancient Greece, its architecture, art and language. That there is a difference can be shown by their own example; ‘Grecian mythology’ and ‘a Greek robe’ sound contrived and imprecise. ‘Grecian culture’ means philosophy and the Parthenon, ‘Greek culture’ means kebabs, Yanni and recrudescent fascism.

  31. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Nah, you’re splitting hairs now, hotrats. In fact, given your last sentence I’d go as far as to say that you’ve gone beyond pedantry and are now perilously close to straying into word-snob territory.
    “One cannot sully so classical a word as ‘Grecian’ by applying it to such a modern vulgarity as a television advert for Viagra” is what I’m reading there, the fact notwithstanding that the ancient Greeks (you’d probably prefer Grecians’ there) would have loved the product.
    My point is that there is no valid reason why the modern descriptor should not be interchangeable with the classical, exactly as in my example regarding ancient Greeks / Grecians, and so I can only put your objection to my usage – or more pertinantly your reaction to my valid defence of my usage of ‘Grecian’ in a modern context down to either the fore-mentioned word-snobbery, or to the reaction of a teacher not used to being corrected on his incorrect corrections.
    Would you also insist that one cannot refer to the likes of Rory Bremner as an ‘impressionist’ because it sullies the works of Monet?

  32. WalterWalcarpit says:

    Acolyte, your wonderful expressionist pun notwithstanding, I’m with Hotrats here. I think the distinction is pertinent, valid and worth protecting.

    Botanist, none of my favourites worked – not even holding my breath nigh to the end of consciousness – but my least favourite did; withhold the Bushmills.

  33. jerry w says:


    Sadly, many people are going to need to believe it before they can see it.

  34. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Et tu, Brutus Walter? 🙁
    I still insist the two descriptors are interchangeable. For example, one of the most common decorative motifs to be found on classical-period Grecian architecture, and widely used ever since to adorn anything from clothing, architecture, artworks, ceramics, cutlery, furniture, jewellery – you name it, if it can be decorated then this has adorned it at some stage – is the geometric Greek Key pattern. During a lifetime in and around the antiques trade I have never heard this pattern referred to as the Grecian Key, and nor is it referred to as Grecian in any of my books on ancient architecture.
    Futhermore, we refer freely to the ancient Greek gods, ancient Greek battles and wars, ancient Greek philosophers, and so on. I agree – because not to do so would be dishonest – that Grecian as a descriptor for anything modern Greek has fallen from common usage, but that doesn’t mean that it cannot be used in that context, does it?
    Let’s say that I am using the word in a recrudescent sense (as do the makers of Grecian 2000 😉 ).

  35. rotinkerbell says:

    Happy Easter to all my friends! And thank you Author for making us laugh. Being of a religious bent, or a bent priest I think I should shed a little light for all you heathens, and remind all my Christian buddies too: Easter is my favourite of the gift buying festivals which is celebrated with holy chocolate and the eating of the Lamb of God cooked pink and to perfection on Sunday, in preparation for DFS furniture sale on Monday. We remember the Easter Bunny coming back to life, chasing all the hares from the Warrens of Hell and then having a BBQ of freshly defrosted fish fingers on the beach with his pals having told the women at the tomb not to blink in front of the Stone Angels. 40 days later he has terrible wind and is propelled up to heaven – Christihimmelfahrt. To send the spirit Tinkerbell to look after us all and find the car keys when we loose them…

  36. fenchurch says:

    @HotRats and @AoS:

    So… how much is a Grecian Urn?
    Not much– with 27% unemployment rate, Greeks aren’t EARNing enough.

  37. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    A fan of & and Wise as well as Douglas Adams. Your comedy credentials stack up nicely, fenchurch.
    However, I wouldn’t be much of a pedant – indeed much of a member of UPOTWA – if I didn’t point out that the original gag is;
    What’s a Grecian Urn?
    About 10-bob an hour.

  38. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Hello! ‘Morecambe’ disappeared there.

  39. fenchurch says:

    @AoS– I first heard a variant of that joke via Archie Comics– I think you’ve credited me with comedic stylings that are not my due re: M&W– I hope we can still be friends…. 😉

  40. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    I’d never fall out over a joke, fenchurch.
    Can’t say I was much of an Archie Comics fan; The Beano was more my cup of tea.


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