bite

June 9th, 2006

Discussion (17)¬

  1. Garrett says:
    November 24, 2006 at 11:19 am

    I would just like to point out that Jesus doesn’t taste so good, and his texture is cardboard-like. I would want my diety to have better taste.

  2. JohnnieCanuck says:
    November 25, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    His texture does change to that of mucilage as He dissolves on your tongue, if that’s any consolation.

  3. AngryHuman says:
    January 14, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    I have experience with the whole Communion ritual, and although Jesus tastes pretty dry and bland, his blood is pretty intoxicating.

  4. Idid says:
    January 30, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Heehee, Catholic here…there -was- this one time at this one church where Jesus was chewey and was kind of sweet. He was delicious.

  5. Stephen says:
    July 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    When I was a catholic jesus always used to stick to the roof of my mouth.

  6. Edna says:
    June 14, 2008 at 5:03 am

    lols. My church has gluten and dairy and yeast free jesus. its gross.

  7. itaibn says:
    July 26, 2008 at 9:15 am

    “I would just like to point out that Jesus doesn’t taste so good, and his texture is cardboard-like. I would want my diety to have better taste.”

    http://www.venganza.org

  8. Marie says:
    August 16, 2008 at 10:55 am

    I’ve always thought that he tasted kinda like special k.

  9. Jenny says:
    November 13, 2008 at 10:26 am

    There was this one time Jesus tasted Salty…

  10. Ben says:
    November 21, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    This is the one place where the Flying Spaghetti Monster has the advantage (provided that he isn’t raw).

  11. Tirinha 62 « Jesus and Mo – traduzidas! says:
    September 7, 2009 at 1:26 am

    […] Tirinha original publicada em 9 de junho de 2006 A última fala de Jesus nesta tirinha, “me morda”, é uma tradução literal da expressão “bite me”, uma gíria bastante comum com um significado parecido com “não enche” ou “cai fora”. […]

  12. Max says:
    October 19, 2009 at 6:36 am

    All Jesus is yeast-free… it’s UNLEAVENED.
    And yeah, He always sticks to the roof of my mouth too.

  13. James Anderson says:
    July 24, 2010 at 5:10 am

    For the record, the whole “eating of the body and blood of Jesus” thing started as a way to convert canniblistic tribes to Christianity

    …..same with Christmas while am I at it. Think about it. Jesus was born in the middle east. During december, in the middle east, in a fuckin manger, the baby jesus woulda froze to death… but w/e thats 2000 years of story telling for ya

  14. spoing says:
    January 30, 2012 at 5:35 am

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RxcmAaGgNw4/TxX52kLAe1I/AAAAAAAAA-w/MPsgYO6_YQ0/s1600/transub.jpg

  15. Flavus says:
    September 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    December 25th is also the birthday of Mitra, son of Ahura Mazda (the Wise Lord in Avestan) born to the virgin Anahita, living as a celibate preacher for 64 years (Jesus, tragically only lived to be ’bout 33 years old), getting twelve apostles, and then dying for the sins of Humanity (but he’s a Sacrificial Bull, not just some pussy-assed lamb!). Also, 12/25 is the winter solstice (birthday of the sun).

  16. Trekko says:
    December 26, 2015 at 2:51 am

    The oldest known son of god that was born on December 25th to a virgin and saved humanity was Horus, the Egyptian solar deity. All the others, Hephaestus, Krishna, Dionysus, Mitra and Jesus are just copycats.

  17. Solo Hands says:
    November 25, 2021 at 8:09 am

    Mr. Anderson, I’ve been mildly bothered by the “snow on snow on snow” refrain of some Christmas tunes for many decades but have never been motivated enough to look up the climate of Bethlehem until now. Prompted by your suggestion that baby Jesus would have been frozen, I did so.

    December in that town isn’t too chilly. It averages above freezing and the odds of snow are not great. The baby’s “real” birthday, around the tax-data gathering months of March and April are quite nice.

    Swaddled in a blanket. he could quite easily have survived his first Christmas in a bed of straw, straw is rather good insulation and the animals and adult humans would have provided some heat in addition to that from Mummy.

    I think you worry too much.

    Babies are nowhere near so fragile as we imagine.

Comment¬

NOTE: This comments section is provided as a friendly place for readers of J&M to talk, to exchange jokes and ideas, to engage in profound philosophical discussion, and to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions. As such, comments of a racist, sexist or homophobic nature will not be tolerated.

If you are posting for the first time, or you change your username and/or email, your comment will be held in moderation until approval. When your first comment is approved, subsequent comments will be published automatically.