hell

August 23rd, 2006

Islamic hell, according to the Koran.


Discussion (14)¬

  1. Mike says:
    August 24, 2006 at 6:37 am

    Ahh…nothing like a great Pascal’s Wager cartoon to start my Thursday off right. “Lakes of fire”, “garments of fire”…what’s with the fire fixation? Where’s the drowning in tar? I think it’d suck to drown in tar. Or flaying alive. Man, what I’d do to avoid being flayed alive.

  2. Ragnar Olafsson says:
    August 26, 2006 at 7:52 am

    Won’t the scalding water put out the garments of fire? Personally I think hell is other people, stupid people.

  3. Stew says:
    August 27, 2006 at 9:33 am

    On a similar subject…

    Koran 18:28-30
    > For the wrongdoers We have prepared a fire which will encompass
    > them like the walls of a pavilion. When they cry out for help
    > they shall be showered with water as hot as molten brass,
    > which will scald their faces

    The melting point of brass is around 900 degrees Celcius and water vapourises at 100C. It may be possible to super-heat steam under extreme pressure to the temperature of ‘molten brass’, I don’t know – but you certainly couldn’t ‘shower’ anyone with it. Additionally, in such an ultra-high-temperature-pressure state, I suspect the water would do substantially more damage than ‘scald their faces’!

  4. Janine says:
    August 27, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    Koran 76:1-5
    > For the unbelievers We have prepared chains and fetters and a blazing
    > Fire…

    If it is fire, iron would head up and expand so the chains would permenantly expand?

  5. Don says:
    August 28, 2006 at 5:08 am

    Reminds me of the old Dave Allen joke; a preacher was describing the torments of hell, concluding that,

    ‘“In Hell there will be wailing and weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

    “What if you don’t have teeth?” asks an elderly parishioner.

    “ Teeth will be provided,”

  6. Hobbes says:
    September 6, 2006 at 8:11 am

    Perhaps you have all seen the following:

    Thermodynamics Of Hell

    A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

    “Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.”
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

    First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

    So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

    Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
    It was not revealed what grade the student got.

  7. pascal says:
    July 20, 2007 at 4:31 am

    pascal…

    Nice one !…

  8. mark says:
    November 29, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    the version of that story i saw had an even funnier ending, cos the student rounded off with something along the following lines.

    “… and Laura Jones said she’d sleep with me ‘when hell freezes over’. Seeing as this has not happened, we can therefore that conclude that Hell is indeed expanding at a slower rate than the number of souls entering it.”

  9. Paper Hand says:
    October 12, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    Not to mention the issue that God would have to be pretty foolish to be tricked by such a cynical “belief”. And the Bible says more than just that you have to believe in God, it says you have to “love the Lord your god with all your heart and soul and mind” (or something to that effect). So, if the Biblical god does exist, then all that pretending to believe is meaningless. You can’t simply *decide* to love someone, after all, and surely God would be smart enough to know that you’re just pretending to love him.

  10. Sachintha Gurudeniya says:
    October 30, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    LOL guys, come on try to get the humor here rather than thermodynamically analysing hell! LOL…
    See the point being both religions – and many others – foolishli try to frighten people to keep them following their respective religions rather than let them decide that…

  11. Alfie Bass says:
    January 25, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Actually as we inhabit the afterlife in an insubstantial state, i.e not having the corporeal body (the remains of which we left behind at the point of death), any form of physical torture would be pointless as we would no longer possess a central nervous system and therefore would be unable to experience pain. Perhaps initially we would wince in a habitual response but it wouldn’t be long before we realised that it didn’t hurt at all.

  12. Exceive says:
    March 3, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    As a massage therapist, I often have people yell “Owww – No, don’t stop, that’s good pain.”

    As a father, I recently lost a daughter.

    Pain isn’t the nerve impulses, it is what the mind does with them. Pain without a physical body seems entirely plausible as long as there is mind or soul (whatever that is).

    The physical tortures described would have to be as metaphorical as the bodies to which they are applied. It just isn’t good ancient Middle Eastern poetry to say “they will be profoundly conscious of cosmic suckitude”.

    As for me, being doomed to wander gold-paved streets barefoot while playing a harp and surrounded by saints forever is a pretty scary prospect. Writhing in fire with the bad kids sounds more fun.

  13. Topi says:
    September 20, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Cannot remember now the correct place in the old testament, but I’m quite sure that it mentions that hell has rivers of molten sulphur. It also mentions that in heaven seven suns shines.

    Based on this information hell is much cooler than heaven.

  14. Cephas Atheos says:
    November 14, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Best bunch of comments I’ve read in years!

    You bastards pinched all my ideas… So:

    The student was incorrect in their statement that all souls will go to hell, because souls can’t belong to more than one religion. That ignores the fact that in the stated scenario, at leasdt ONE religion had to be correct, and therefore those believers (or, at least the good believers!) wouldn’t go to hell – so hell wouldn’t be infinitely full!

    There’s also the question of an infinite number of humans, given a finite universe (in terms of matter available, since all matter will eventually become radiation in 30 trillion years or so), but I’ve been enough of a schmuck already, without even meaning to. 🙂

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