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March 12th, 2014
Here’s an old one from 2007. New one next week, I hope.
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What they're saying...
Jesus & Mo (the characters) are absurd, blinkered, and oddly very sweet. J&M (the cartoon) is brilliant: sharp, delicious, irresistible.
Salman Rushdie
Jesus and Mo cartoons are wonderfully funny and true.
Richard Dawkins
Jesus and Mo make the world a better place, bless their little hearts.
Ophelia Benson
In a world defined by outrage and offence and liberal spinelessness, Jesus and Mo is a treasure, whose value we should never fail to recognize. Read them. Laugh. And think.
Kenan Malik
...a philosophical confrère.
Jerry Coyne
The brilliant, celebrated, freaking hilarious atheist comic strip ...
Greta Christina
...rays of sanity in a befuddled world.
Keri Hulme
The liveliest depictions of Muhammad currently available...
Malise Ruthven
J & Mo is the funniest and most consistently thought-provoking cartoon strip on the Net. In a saner world, it would run in a major newspaper.
Nelson Jones, Heresy Corner
Consistently amusing, frequently thought-provoking and often heart-warming.
New Humanist
Jesus & Mo is one of the most wonderful things on the internet..
JT Eberhard
Wittily captures much of the absurdity of religious apologetics.
Mano Singham
...wonderfully brilliant and witty.
Miranda Celeste Hale
Too good for words.
Maryam Namazie
The Eric and Ernie of monotheism.
Tom Holland
The most impious double act since Sodom and Gomorrah.
Andrew Copson, Chief Executive, BHA
I love jesusandmo.net cartoons - witty and sharp!
Katha Pollitt
Often hilarious, frequently wry, these cartoons do what all the best cartoons do: they tell the truth through humour.
Terry Sanderson, NSS President
...a wonderfully acid British cartoonist...
Nick Cohen
I love the scrappy mockery of Jesus and Mo. Freedom of speech includes the freedom to mock any person, any thing, any activity, and any belief -- and J&M stands up for this unflinchingly
Richard Stallman
...empowering, important and deeply progressive, not to mention hilarious...
Council of Ex-Muslims
Jesus & Mo is my go to example of how to do tasteful, beautiful religious satire.
Eiynah, Polite Conversations
...humor is humor and this cartoonist doesn't have it. Karl Giberson
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“I have meaning to my life because my faith says I have meaning to my life.” Yep – it’s time to make the right mistake!
Oh – and hi, everyone!
I love it that one might choose to change which mistake to have made. However, like most decisions, we don’t often get the chance to go back and choose a different mistake in retrospect. I wish!
Perhaps my atheism is a mistake. If so then it’s definitely the right one.
Cult leaders generally are making the right mistake; from a selfish, privileged viewpoint.
Meaning is the story that you choose to join. There are many possible stories that are also true, as far as we know. The story of human civilization, for example; join that by seeking to make this civilization more peaceful, just, and sustainable. Granted, that doesn’t let you deny the reality of death, like stories of a supernatural afterlife do, but I’ve found I can live without that.
“Made the wrong mistake.” Pure genius! As a 13 year-old – 60 years ago – it occurred to me that if 9 out of 10 of my small town’s sects and denominations must be wrong, why shouldn’t they all be. At no time since then have I heard anyone put this so brilliantly.
Isn’t it cute how religious people frequently feel they have chosen the one true religion even though the evidence makes it obvious that they merely adopted the religion of their parents? The more intelligent ones realize that their parents picked their religion, but still feel fortunate that it was the one true religion. I realized my parents had chosen my religion when I was about eight. By age twelve I was picking my own. I chose answer e) none of the above.
I have chosen to throw away the chance of eternal heavenly bliss. Yeah that’s right: an infinity of time spent in paradise in a state of serene delight and even euphoric rapture.
Instead I freely choose to die and for my consciousness to go to permanent oblivion while my body decomposes.
So why do I feel that I made the right choice? Am I mad?
I found that my religion mistook
Evidence for some words in a book
I then realised
When I opened my eyes
The propaganda was merely a hook.
I’m new to limericks- forgive me?
oh Paddy Roberts
what have you done?
“Meaning is the story that you choose to join.”
Wow, John B. I am SO stealing that!
A cartoon about someone who made another kind of wrong mistake is at http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/01/10
Check out the Parable of Hank – it’s a great example of an obviously wrong mistake… that is eerily similar to a mistake a lot of people make.
http://www.clock.org/~fair/opinion/hank.html
(I found it on a discussion of “Why are you an atheist”)
Sometimes, I wish I could have made the wrong mistake. I would be one hell of an evangelical preacher. I would love to have the mansions and fancy cars and big screen TVs god would certainly want me to have. Problem is, I have this wee disability called a conscience. Bummer.
(P.S., I would have been a fantastic master criminal too, were it not for the same disability.)
Silly atheists think it a mistake
To believe in what they call a fake
What is the truth
Unobservant atheist goof?
The obvious is too much for them to take.
This one, I must share with you:
http://imgur.com/r/atheism/uMXPMQI
As of today, I am now a Hankist. Hankism is the one true mistake. Thanks, CP!
Thanks Chris Phoenoix
The movies title should be. The names Pinocchio Hank Pinocchio. BTW Did mo ever get his biro fixed.
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that Paddy’s first limerick is better than NBH’s millionth?
Love these cartoons. Have also learned a lot from the comments.
Tried to fit the bible into a haiku. (I can’t do limericks.)
Grumpy old God: GRIM
Hippy son hailed, nailed, prevails.
Zombie’s gang. News: GOOD!
I thank the pastor at a fundie church who told me (at the age of 11) that going fishing on Sunday was a sin and that I should spend the entire day worshiping god. (please note the lack of capitols on ‘god’). I am also grateful that I am endowed with a skeptical mind and at that tender age said “BULLSHIT!” to myself of course. But his comment led me down the correct path of not believing his BULLSHIT. I made the correct error……. and I have never looked back.
would not spending an eternity an infinite forever in ‘heaven’
eventually become hellish
– if it were truly an infinite time [ and it would not be forever if not infinite] then there would come a point when you have done everything an infinite number of times
also
could some religious person explain why ‘god’ created ‘heaven’ and supposedly on the second day too – before the alleged ‘fall’
what purpose did ‘heaven’ serve
given that [according to the myth as stated ]
a] ‘god’ dwelt in the void before ‘creating ‘ heaven and therefore should not need heaven to dwell in
and
b] without the assistance of the serpent in the garden ‘red dust man’ and St Eve would have remained in the garden indefinitly- and thus would not have needed to go to ‘heaven’ and neither would any of the descendants?
so could a person of a religious mind explain the purpose of heaven, given that the myth as stated ‘heaven’ is superflous /redundant to the dieity’s plan?
Heaven defined as ‘Rakia’ heaven not ‘Mitakhat’ or ‘Shumayim’ heaven
‘so much cool stuff is haram’
lol it would not be haram if it was not cool stuff
It’s always so sad to hear believers promote their religion based on what it promises to offer them (false hopes, eternal rewards, air miles, houri), and then slam atheism because it doesn’t offer some kind of benefits package.
The beauty of atheism is that there *is* no chance of being lied to, of being manipulated with prizes and such. It’s an enormous *relief* to safely ignore these other claims, and live one’s life less defrauded.
I think of the promises of religions much like those banner ads “You are the 5 Millionth viewer to this page– click here to collect prize!” or the other side of human engineering: “Your Computer has a virus: click here to clean”.
Being a critical thinker and not worried about god claims/perks helps to reduce the scams one is subjected to. It’s also a time-saver in that one needn’t obsess over the divinely orthodox way to masticate, eliminate, procreate, donate, or ruminate.
It’s just healthier to be free of supernatural baggage.
white squirrel:
One might more pointedly ask why he created Hell before there were any human souls to populate it. Did he know something then that didn’t get mentioned in Genesis? Such as the eventual inevitablity of countless millions of sinners, heretics, infidels and nonbelievers?
It was gentle Jesus, meek and mild, who introduced the concept of eternal agony for rejecting God’s mercy – prior to that, Mosaic law made Hell a place of fixed-term re-education and rehabilitation. Aside from whether or not he was the Messiah, Hell remains one of the biggest doctrinal differences between Judaism and Christianity.
It is hard to imagine how such a corrosively brutal concept as Hell can arise, other than as the expression of a subconscious desire to inflict vicious and implacable punishment on a grand scale, which is an aspect of our saviour’s personality that doesn’t get the consideration it deserves.
As others here at the C&B have noted, most of us had a pretty cartoonish and abstract mental picture of Hell until the late Iain M. Banks spelled out just how truly gruesome it would be in his outstanding ‘Culture’ novel, Surface Detail. He talks about the book, and his own militant atheism, in this interview: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/10/iain-banks .
Hell will never be the same again.
Holmes:
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that Paddy’s first limerick is better than NBH’s millionth?
It’s a good thing that Paddy’s are so good, and a bad thing that NBH’s are so bad they are practically a genre in their own right. Strange chap, he used to do ordinary non-limerick comments but would never reply to questions, and now just poots one forth in each thread. Sometimes he seems to have real insights, and sometimes – like the post above – he just seems to get pointlessly abusive. AoS thinks this is a clever disguise, but I am convinced that NBH’s rhyme and reason are both constrained by a more than somewhat limited grasp of English.
And before I forget again, praise be to Author for the edit facility.
Fenchurch, for the chance at a few good-looking houris males that look like me and who therefore have absolutely zero chance of ever getting any of the good looking human women will do just about anything. [Not me, personally. I’ve given up.]
Sod the eternal bliss, it’s the faint possibility of nookie with one of those stunners that really gets the juices flowing. Eternal bliss and freedom from Hell are intellectual concepts that may drive the intellectuals but the idea of topping some top tottie, tasting some tasty sweetness hits males where they live.
The winners in Life’s little lottery of looks, brains, skills and wealth can’t truly understand how desperate the losers can be. How painful it is to have your nose pressed up against the glass and to see the Beautiful People dancing with each other.
It’s easy to sneer at the losers when you’re one of Life’s winners.
It’s less easy when you’re drowning in the murk and mire with the rest of the rabble and some enterprising confidence trickster offers a way out of the filth and futility of your dreadful existence.
“Just follow me, obey me, kill and torture for me and you can have all the nice ones you’ll ever be able to use.” [To an illiterate, innumerate child who will never have an education “seventy-two” sounds like “millions”. The idea of that vast source of joy ever being used up isn’t within their mental horizon.]
It’s a stupid hope. It’s a stupid idea. It’s even a stupid little dream, but when it is all you will ever have it is worth clinging on to.
What the fuck else have the losers got? One quick shot at the light that they are too ugly to step out into, then eternity of dark nothingness.
Anything is better than that. Even the lies, and you just know they have to be lies for nothing is ever that good, of some patronising prat in a skirt. The losers may be desperate but they are not entirely stonelike stupid, they know the promises are bound to be bogus but they sound so very good and tasty and nice and there is this nagging little chance that they just might be true.
And, realistically, what else is there?
For Life’s winners it’s okay to have nothing after because you have it all now.
It’s not like that when you’re born drowning in ugliness.
And you will never have a chance at touching beauty.
And all you can ever do is watch it walk by.
Unseeing.
There once was a man with a god
Who lived in a dreary old cot
He wept and he cried
Until he just died
And lay rotting just under the sod.
A man who believed in his soul
Thought piety a worthy goal
He prayed every day
And gave money away
But he still ended dead in a hole.
One might more pointedly ask why he created Hell
you could – however if you take the creation myth 1 [gen 1.1 to 2.3]
as given – then the myth lists and items all things the deity allegedly ‘created’
after which the deity rested because everything was completed
well in that list there is no mention of hell
so [ to spell to out for creationist level IQ’s ] if the ‘god’ rested and completed all things and those things created did not include hell – where did hell come from if ‘god’ did not create it?
That the whole creation myth fails and is not actually a creation myth but possibly something else is another matter
Religion removes the fear of death and replaces it with the fear of retribution.
I’m sure it’s been said here before but hell really is other people.
Religions are all hollow lies
That promise a life in the skies
They say you will live there
For ever and ever
That’s untrue, your conciousness dies.
The pain of being born not to win
Is deeper and harsher than sin
Knowing you will always lose
That you don’t get to choose
That your live has been thrown in the bin.
This is a sort of fun
Taming the words on the page
Making them vivid.
.. and a revised version of QM at 14/0913:
There once was a man with a god
Who lived in a dreary old cot
He wept and he cried
Until one day he died
And lay rotting deep under the sod.
Hell should deter us from doing bad
The truth is more simple and sad
The bad guys do not
Think they’ll ever be caught
So their heavens can still be had.
There once was a man with a fixation
Who thought god would give him salvation
So he prayed and he hoped
Until one day he croaked
He was dead so he felt no frustration
Damn. Just can’t seem to get rid of the assonance. (Getting the rhyme wrong. – Rita) We seem to be on a limerick kick again and I blame NBH.
A terrible thing to make the wrong mistake, but not that much worse than making the right one. Lovely concept, Author. I see the irony meter popping up in distant threads these days, along with “spoing” as shorthand for the explosion of same. You have established a cultural meme that may live for centuries.
Oh DH – I had to read that twice before I knew why I knew it. Thanks 🙂
Mental jump sideways to ‘You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!’
Lol – thanks again for both thoughts.
I think if we apply all the knowledge and logic we have at the time the a ‘wrong’ decision isn’t wrong.
What is wrong is still ‘believing’ when science/evidence has moved on. Not being ‘open’ to the new evidence. Being entrenched in your position. Totally wrong.
Huh – I hadn’t ‘checked’ the ‘I am not a spammer’ box. (it’s late.)
But I’m not – I know I’m not lol. So I believe 🙂
And the gullibility of people knows no bounds:
Convicted Felon, Doctor Injects Oklahomans With ‘Jesus Shot’
http://www.news9.com/story/24886352/convicted-felon-doctor-injects-oklahomans-with-jesus-shot
You could play “Snake-oil salesman bingo” with this bullshit.
Is that worth a Jesus & Mo story? Or just a facepalm?
There once was a man with fixation
Who thought god would give him salvation
flows better and still works grammatically
White squirrel, I disagree that your version is better. Write your own limericks and keep your pinkies off mine. 🙂
@ whitesquirrel
You must understand that any standard for limericks in the C&B is set by NbH. So DH had it spot on 🙂
Limericks by NbH; a rather low bar. Nonetheless, he (or she) is an interesting character to have lurking in the shadows.
So DH had it spot on
Plus
Damn. Just can’t seem to get rid of the assonance. (Getting the rhyme wrong.
=not spot on somewhere-
I merely made a suggestion in reply to DH’s own comment
as for writing my own – i have other things to waste my time on equally as pointless, although not as pointless as religion of course
@ white+squirrel
As well as irony meters, denizens of the C&B have built-in sensors for ambivalent and jovial sarcasm, as well as for litotes, bathos and weapons-grade hyperbole.
I’m sure you’ll get used to it once you’ve been a regular here for a while 🙂
Oh, no! Now I’ve been bitten by the limerick bug!
.
.
.
Bacchus has left the building
Religions! Do any allow
for bliss after death and fun now?
The maenads would mock us,
for they drank to Bacchus
and then were reborn. Too late now!
Sorry about that, but, as they say, better out than in 😉 .
Has anyone else besides me used the 5-minute editor today (March 18, 2014) and then had their posting disappear?
Nothing from the lads (and lasses) in Nantucket?
Two cents’ worth, I think you get the limerick prize. Nice one.