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signs

Aww. He still believes he was born on December 25.

Calculate your new star sign.

Flattr this for Jesus


Discussion (29)¬

  1. Aztek says:

    Whohoo!! I’m still a Sagittarius! I’m so happy Jesus didn’t become one of us. He would not fit our gang.

  2. Andrew Hall says:

    I’m now a Gemini. Now i have to get rid of all my Cancer nick-nacks.

  3. Unruly Simian says:

    Fortunaltely most of the horoscopes are based on our current seasons and have nothing to do with the Earth getting out of alignment with the 3,000 B.C. star chart! So lucky to be the same sign I always was!!!! Not the new snake guy thingie…..

  4. Runar says:

    I remember reading an article on this same thing – 35 years ago. It was written by Isaac Asimov, and appeared as one of his monthly science columns in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

  5. jean-françois gauthier says:

    don’t worry, jesus, you’re still a capricorn to the eastern orthodox!

  6. Bodach says:

    Funny: I don’t feel different.

  7. David says:

    I was a Virgo, which I have never been too happy with. Not butch enough, I felt. A little wimpish I always thought. However, it appears I am now a Leo. Wowee. Well macho, eh? (Gives a little roar and exits stage right).

  8. RavenBlack says:

    1. I like the sub-headline on the newspaper.
    2. How come there’s no *bear* starsign, other than “the water BEARer”?

  9. Hans says:

    As a Cancer you were good at BMX tricks. Cancer people are often boring.

    As a Gemini you will be required to be unable to communicate. Gemini people have a tendency to speak in tongues

    That site is awesome, now I know who i really am :P

  10. jerry w says:

    “Ignore the data, or change the belief”?
    Well, I know heresy when I read it, and it seems like Mo is on that slippery slope we often hear about.

  11. Nassar Ben Houdja says:

    A clever calculating quack
    Changed the soothsayer’s zodiac
    The old one is trash
    The new one means cash
    Cus the suckers will keep coming back.

  12. MrGronk says:

    Nassar, that’s a good one

  13. Jesus was a Capricorn
    he ate organic foods
    he beleived in peace and love
    and never wore no shoes

    - kris kristopherson

  14. Intelligent Designer says:

    The Xtians will have to deface the carved imagery on quite a few churches and Cathedrals now. Chartres, Autun and Amiens are all famous for their zodiac stone work, for example.

    Capricorn tends to be placed as the top symbol, due to the ‘code’ that identifies it with Jesus. They’ll have to chip out Chartres’ window and rotate it by 30 degrees, before grouting it back in and hoping no-one notices!

  15. DC says:

    Runar, I remember the Asimov article too, although I saw it reprinted in one of his numerous and excellent non-fiction books when I was in my first few high-school years. I tried to ‘convert’ my fellow students but hey, it was [an ultra-conservative] high school and nobody was really interested in learning anything.

  16. joe says:

    Okay — this one is a rare “stupid both ways”.

    It would be unsurprising if the time of year you were born in — which month — had significant effect on your personality and life IN AN AGRICULTURAL SOCIETY. Nutritional levels, early life events and so on would be at least impacted over the first year or two by where in the year you were born.

    Of course — there are almost no agricultural societies left. The social clock doesn’t depend on the seasons, but on the corporate accounting cycle.

    So, even if astrology was meaningful 500 years ago — it’s completely stupid now. What we need is a new “corporate zodiac” based off of where in the financial cycle you were born. Did Dad get a Christmas bonus? Was mom pissed because of end of the year audits?

  17. so, that would be a corpiac?

  18. Hamilton Jacobi says:

    It looks like the name of the Asimov book might be The Stars in Their Courses. I haven’t read that one, but luckily there is a local copy available by interlibrary loan. Thanks for the tip.

  19. [...] I could go on but won’t. Instead, I shall give the last word to Jesus and Mo: [...]

  20. beechnut says:

    The ancient Chaldean astronomers divided the sun’s apparent circular path around the earth into twelve sections (what modern astrologers call “houses”) of 30 degrees each. They fixed the start of the sun’s “year” at the Vernal Equinox, which in those days happened to be in the constellation of Aries. Hence the term “first point of Aries”, which refers to the sun’s position at the point when it crosses the celestial equator. The 12 divisions/houses were named after constellations convenient at the time. Astrologers work with the houses, not with constellations, so the effect of the precession of the equinoxes is not considered relevant. On the other hand, they do seem to impute to each house many of the characteristics associated with the names of the original constellations, and as this all dates from a particular time there is no reason to suppose that it has any authority other than tradition. So it’s rubbish, probably. So forget I said all this.

    Brilliant comic, by the way. So glad I discovered it. Please ignore all those people who want more animation. It’s perfect the way it is.

  21. JoJo says:

    I’m still a scorpio, which means I’m naturally sceptical and hung like a baboon..

  22. YHWH says:

    I love the quotes round “not true”. Straight from the Guardian style guide.

  23. Stephen Turner says:

    There’s a Monty Python horoscope in one of their books, and its prediction for Scorpio is
    something like the following:

    Scorpions are nasty things that should be stamped on. Prediction: you will be stamped on.

  24. James Hafseth says:

    Congratulations, Jesus and Mo!

  25. Daoloth says:

    Let me be the second (rats) to congratulate you on the well-deserved Riffy award!

    (Now don’t let it go to your head and go all Randall Monroe and jump the shark on us, please!)

  26. Stephen P says:

    So the Riffy award for Best Comic was actually won by the best comic? What is the world coming to?

  27. kiyaroru says:

    YAY!
    Is there any prize money?

  28. Alexis says:

    Oh dear, I was born on a cusp. I’m not sure if that makes me a cuspidor or a bicuspid.

  29. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Well what do you know? According to the ‘new star-sign’ site I used to be Capricorn and am now Saggyhairyarse. Trouble is, according to every book on astrology – and every newspaper / magazine horoscope I’ve ever seen – my birthday originallly made me Aquarius.
    You know that something’s nonsense when even a debunking site run by someone who once did it for a living can’t get it right!

Comment¬

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