Awww…Jesus made god cry. ROFL “Nice one, Jesus,” is dead on. Great work, author.
Well, if that isn’t proof of God’s existence, I don’t know what is…
Honestly, though. Jesus and Mo should check the weather report before going out on their walks in the park.
Which came first, god’s manipulations or Vonnegut’s “Sirens Of Titan”?
Since they’re both dead, I’m betting on Kurt.
Phew! For a moment there, I feared Jesus had come to his senses. This rain, an obvious sign from you-know-who (another nod to Vonnegut) is, of course, appropriately acid, and ought to set Jesus straight again. Beware of rational barmaids.
And don’t forget, it was I, myself, me, who invented weather forecasting.
Ah, me. Mr. Saunders, what happened to that modest mien? I am told that your pamphlets were typical of others of the time, in their predictions of weather, & cetera. Your popularity certainly could not have been based on the accuracy of your prognostications, but moreso on the clever aphorisms you included.
You do still follow your own advice to, “Let thy maidservant be faithful, strong, and homely” don’t you?
Do you still give out the future dates of the demise of your fellow astrologers? How curious to find that though you have a tomb of your own, you still are able to publish your thoughts on the likelihood of others having risen from the dead.
JC: Apparently, others have thought me arrogant, when indeed I pictured myself the very model of modesty. However, when I set about penning my famous virtues, they were but twelve in number, and it was my well-intentioned friends who advised me to include “Humility.” I replied I could not do so, for if I did succeed in achieving that virtue, I would be proud of it. I am, of course, much smarter than any of them, but I did discover that pretending modesty worked better than my former overbearing mien (to borrow your word). I changed from starting with “Obviously,” or “As any fool can see,” and
found it better to try “Your point is well taken, and interesting, but just for the sake of argument, let us see what might come of yet another approach . . . ”
and other such condescending nonsense.
The result finally was that I did include “Humility” as my thirteenth virtue, and you may recall that the method for achieving said virtue is:
“Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”
While you are at it, check out my cool rule for “Chastity.” SOMEBODY has to take the lead in these things. All in all, I was simply trying to teach the young’uns of America that most of what they are being taught in school and by parents is oxenshit.
– Poor Richard, AKA Mr. Saunders, Granny Goodwitch, and David Henry Thoreau.
The egocentric aspects of this Abrahamic religion are really amazing. It’s kind of embarrassing to think that in the absence of information, humans not so different from us were able to be so very self centred on so many levels.
It all focussed down onto the line of warrior priests who first created these stories and then wrote them down.
Men are made in God’s image.
Only men decide what god is/wants/does, no girls allowed.
God can be controlled by men’s prayers.
Their tribe is the chosen of god. All others are subject to genocide or slavery.
Every physical thing was created just for them.
The earth is the centre of the universe.
And that’s just the Torah.
Next we get God inserting Himself into a Hebrew virgin, out of all the sentients on all the planets in all the galaxies.
This is followed by God torturing Himself and ‘dying’ so He doesn’t have to individually punish His flawed creations.
The punishments and rewards are based on a detailed list of each individual’s transgressions versus various exculpatory thoughts or actions, over a lifetime.
Crazy. Well, definitely Narcissistic any way you look at it.
More Humility needed.
A bit like Shirley Maclain thinking she causes blackouts with her bad moods — doesn’t she think maybe there’s someone else out there preventing blackouts with their good moods? These are just examples of human narcissism and neurosis. Funny little vain people!
[...it was my well-intentioned friends who advised me to include Ã¢â‚¬Å“Humility.Ã¢â‚¬Â I replied I could not do so, for if I did succeed in achieving that virtue, I would be proud of it.] Humility is the absence of arrogance, not pride justified by achievement. Not even for Christians, so long as the achievements they take pride in are the work of God.
[Only men decide what god is/wants/does, no girls allowed.] And I guess Ruth was really Barak in disguise like Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie?
[Well, definitely Narcissistic any way you look at it.] You’re just jealous!
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