Heh… J an’ Mo tryin to mac on the bartender… who could think of a better pick-up line that “Hey baby, want to mother the New Messiah? The next morning you can tell your mom you’re still a virgin!”
hehe Maybe Mo and jesus get some threesome with a surrogat mother.
The whole idea of the Virgin birth comes from an etymological error. In Ancient Greek, a young, unmarried woman was called a “parthenos,” which, because a young, unmarried woman was USUALLY a virgin, was understood later to mean “a virgin.” Which is like assuming anyone whose name starts with “Miss” is a virgin. Once the Fathers of the Church began going on about a virgin birth, they had to come up with a whole series of Russian Doll theories that included Mary’s mother, and Mary’s mother’s mother — because how could a “perfect vessel” be borne by a mother who was not perfect (the perfect vessel of the prefect vessel) herself? There are actually three cases of antenatal sanctification, in fact: Jeremiah, John the Baptist, and Mary. Mary was apparently sanctified “in utero,” if I’m to understand the prevailing theory correctly — which explains away the sins that would normally have followed her into the womb and out into the world.
In fact, virgin births had apparently been part of other religious stories (non-christian) before Mary came along, and that’s why the idea was so attractive. It was possibly a melding of the Christian story and a pagan story.
Now, let’s try and be a little dignified while being insolent.
Carolita, I tend think the evidence points towards Mary being the character from Egyptian pagan mythology ISIS-MERI. In Ptolemaic Egypt she was described as a Virgin whereas earlier versions of ISIS she is not a Virgin but immaculately conceives by impregnating herself with the dismembered Phallus of Osiris. (The Greeks were more keen on sexual “purity” than the Egyptians.) In fact the whole Christian myth smacks of Egyptian mythology filtered through Greek and Platonic puritanism. Which is not surprising when you consider Imperial Rome was awash with exotic Eastern cults. The cult of ISIS, sometimes called STELLA MARIS at the time, being one of the most popular which, to some extent, can be said to still exist as the cult of Mary amongst Catholics.
Virgin Birth = Military Intelligence = Scientific Religion = Smart Model
Barmaid. I think she is very pretty though.
TaoAndZen and Carolita -
Very informative and valid points, both of you. I love it when I learn something theologically/anthropologically new (to me) on this site.
Are Jay and Mo holding hands under the counter?
The veneration of Mary is one of the reasons why Protestants don’t regard Catholics as Christians. Then there’s the Trinity thing. Persona means “mask” but is used to indicate character. If Jesus is just Yahweh in disguise, then why did he cried out “father, why have thou forsaken me” on the cross? Doesn’t god know what he himself does or was god experiencing some schizophrenic episode? How come the 3 personalities of God showed up at the same time during Jesus’ baptism? *scratches head*
Simple: That God does not exist.
When you divide nothing by 3, you still get…
And, not only did he not know why he had himself nailed to the cross, he didn’t even know the fig tree had no figs, nor did he know it wasn’t the season for figs. All very ungodly, indeed.
Cursing fig trees and aggressive disorderly conduct in temples here, love and forgiveness there, the turning of cheeks here and a bit of smiting and genocide there. Clearly a case of criminaly psychotic MPD. As Havelock Ellis said, “The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.”
I am a bit concerned that this story line could offend some religious people.
i hope they save themselves for civil union!
Jesus supposedly said, ‘My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?’
and the reason he supposedly said it is that the person who really ‘said it’ i.e. the writer of Mark, read it in the Old Testament as it’s the first lines of the 22 Psalm.
Of course, he may also have said: “God! Hey God! Why’d dja hafta leave me here all alone?” The record isn’t that clear.
The record is quite specific actually.
Mark15:34 And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
By the need for interpretation we can infer that Jesus was either irrationally babbling or was moved by the Holy Ghost to speak in tongues. Since we are told that Jesus is claiming to be forsaken by his god we must deduce that the holy spirit had fled and Jesus was irrational.
NOTE: This comments section is provided as a safe place for readers of J&M to talk, to exchange jokes and ideas, to engage in profound philosophical discussion, and to ridicule the sincerely held beliefs of millions. As such, comments of a racist, sexist or homophobic nature will not be tolerated.
NAME — Get an avatar
EMAIL — Required / not published
Jesus & Mo is licensed under a Creative Commons License:
Feel free to copy for noncommercial purposes, under the same license.
Please provide a link back to jesusandmo.net
Hosted by NearlyFreeSpeech.NET.