Odd, since that is not a Witness belief.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040622/article_03.htm

This article is, in many ways, good for a laugh, but it does at least show that the Witnesses do not believe in a 6,000-year-old Earth. They do believe, though, in 6,000 years of human life on the Earth, which may be where some confusion arises.

2. “Their heaven only allows 144,000 souls.”

True. Many others, it is said, will live eternally here on Earth after it’s been cleaned up. There was a famous talk a few years ago with the title “Millions Now Living Will Never Die”.

http://www.lulu.com/content/116824

3. “The real cracker was the failure of the world to end in 1979,80,81.82 ….. They genuinely believed this was going to happen – all of them.”

Not true. Some of these dates were bigger than others. (1975 was the biggie.) My mother recalls many being swept up by them, but maintains that not everyone was. She wasn’t herself, she says. And I’m inclined to believe her.

http://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=navclient&gfns=1&q=jehovah+1975

4. “The reason the world did not end was due to a scriptural discrepancy. In Genesis it says something about Adam having to count up all the animals in the Garden of Eden. The get out of jail card is that there are obviously far more animals than was originally thought and this unquantifiable extra effort is what is allowing us all to live on borrowed time before the great upheaval.”

I’ve never heard that one before. Really, never. I must look it up.

5. “The 144,000 comes from Revelations, so to get to heaven you have to be a Jewish male.”

Now, that would be logical (for a given value of “teapot”), but it’s not what the Witnesses believe.

Phew. It’s a long time since I’ve thought about this stuff.

TRiG.

Don’t bust a gut over it.

You might have guessed from this site that we don’t fucking care.

TRiG.

Ponzi scams worked for Thatcher. Why shouldn’t they work for God?

- Jake

The Witlesses got around that one. (It was one of my first arguments against their particular brand of bullshit).

I think (and lets face it, this is not an exact science as their beliefs change all the time) that the 144K go to heaven to sit with dog and the rest come back to “heaven on earth”.

They obviously sussed the 144K limit to the numbers of the gullible thay could attract many moons ago and tweaked their bullshit accordingly.

The real cracker was the failure of the world to end in 1979,80,81.82 . . . .

They genuinely believed this was going to happen – all of them. My mother in law was genuinely delighted at the prospect (even when I pointed out that her non-believer husband would not join her. Maybe that is why she was so delighted).

The reason the world did not end was due to a scriptural discrepancy. In genesis (the part of the bible not the crap band) it says something about Adam having to count up all the animals in the Garden of Eden (although exactly why this was necessary is a mystery to me given that dog presumably created them all in the first place and should therefore have reasonably accurate inventory management).

The get out of jail card is that there are obviously far more animals than was originally thought and this unquantifiable extra effort is what is allowing us all to live on borrowed time before the great upheaval (when all the graves open up, the witless zombies pour forth and heaven is created on earth).

So we are all doooomed, dooooomed I tell ye.

I couldn’t drink or smoke enough to make up crap like this.

AUTHOR – any chance of a pop at the witlesses ? You know it makes sense.